My name is Ryan Travis Christian. How are you doing? Good. I am doing well too.

So I am supposed to introduce myself, being that I will be a regular contributor to this fabulous website (with a terrible name I might add). Okay, where should I start? Here is a mega brief overview of me. I am French, my family began their residency in America way back when, whaling in New England, and then one of em' signed the constitution. Then fast forward to 1983, when the Athletics had Ricky Henderson and the Raiders had Bo Jackson and who cares about the Giants. Am I right? So yeah, I was born in Oakland but then my dad's plastic engineer job moved us to L.A. and then Detroit and then finally to the bright and sunny Northwest suburbs of Chicago.

I, being a single child, was very bored, so I would talk to myself, hide under my parents bed and scare them after they fell asleep, listen to Michael Jackson records, you know creepy stuff. Soon after I replaced these activities with smoking weed in the forest, listening to early nineties hip hop and trying to fool around with Whitney Youngren. While I was in this streak of making hot decisions, I then decided to go to raves regularly and then soon after start touring with Phish (sigh, so much waste time) to beautiful places like Camden NJ.

From there on I started attending NIU, which is in the middle of a corn field and just recently got shot up by some clown with a life size Saw dummy tattoo, Jesus!

Moved back in with the parents (Joe and Roberta) until grad school arrives. I graduated in May of 2007 and now I run around with my super hot girlfriend Marcie (who just got represented by a gallery, hollah) and my not as equally hot other friends. I don't have a real job (I was building gigantic plastics machinery for a bit until I realized what I was doing). I lay around all day and work on drawings and send emails all over the place. Sometimes I work at Western Exhibitions. Other times I sit around and play with my ferrets and watch Godzilla movies or Weeds. I am trying to start an art collection. Here and there I might DJ dance parties with power sculptor Ben Stone. I like whiskey straight and G&Ts. I am giving a lecture at the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design in April as well as showing at Junc gallery in LA with some other fancies.

I think blood is really neat. Same with astro and meta physics. I hate when people use Google or Youtube in verb form. I am eagerly awaiting baseball season. There is a Chicago imagist painter who I want to kick right in the nads. I need to fill the tires in my bicycle. I am reading Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. I know a kid (Pill Wizard) who ate so many pharmaceuticals and drank so much booze his jaw is trying to leave his face. I wondering what Spike Lee will be showing in the Whitney biennial. I have an unexplainable hatred for Zack Braff. I sleepwalk but only for the purpose of eating chocolate, so I can wake up with a nice case of heartburn. I steal lots of paintbrushes but I don't paint very much. I listen to solid steel radio pretty often, also Pat and Ron. I enjoy making up band names for cool bands that I will never be in. Once I saw a kid pooping in the creek by my house so I ran up and kicked him in. I have never had seafood, most Mexican food (aside from burritos and milanesa), salad, and almost all condiments. I once got in a terrible sledding accident and they thought I would be paralyzed from the waist down. I am six foot tall with blue eyes and a size 13 shoe. I play tennis. I like making out to Benedictine monk chants. I am due for a nasty case of the Spring fever.

There's more of course, but as the David Byrne would say "I'll tell you later"

Nice to meet you.

If you want to contact, stalk, befriend, ask questions, holler or anything else

www.myspace.com/mammaltooth
or
ciphercircles(at)yahoo.com
or
ryan(at)fecalface.com {moscommet}