At a party over three months ago a bet was made amoungst three gentleman with the winner of said bet winning himself a banjo purchased by the losers of... said bet. A mustache must be grown (un trimmed) during said three months. At the end of the contest a photo shoot will be organized, the photos placed on Fecal Face, and the viewers will pick the winner of the contest. Well the stashes were grown. Trippe, due to feeling completely retarded in a mustache, dropped out early. The other three, Matt Irving, Richard Hart, and Andreas Trolf had the grandpa within to continue and below is their creepy harvest... Since Trippe was out, he was selected as photographer.
Voting will close in one week- July 17th.
And here we are at day one. Richard Hart, John Trippe, Matt Irving, and Andreas Trolf... man, if Trippe stayed in, damn! He's already got the stash to win from the start.
So here are your contestants as seen on Saturday, July 7th in the Panhandle, San Francisco.
Richard Hart
Andreas Trolf
Matt Irving
We asked all contestants to write a few words about thier stash experience, and Andreas was the only one who came through with the text. Please keep that in mind when voting for your winner. Freakin' slackers!
you know how maybe you'll buy a "wacky" shirt or something as a joke but
then you wear it for the first time and something clicks in your head?
suddenly it's not a joke anymore, you're all, "this is the real me,
world!" and that wacky shirt just makes its way into your regular
rotation. it's all a continual process of discovering who you are.
and guess what? i think i'm a mustache guy. i'd grown one before and
always felt too creeped out by it to keep it longer than a few days. but
this time something clicked. my dad has a mustache, so maybe it's true
that we all turn into our parents eventually. maybe it's just that i was
finally ready for it. maybe i was born with this nascent mustache hiding
under my upper lip and i just had to wait for the right time to grow it
out and twirl it between my fingers. maybe.
over the past three months i've been called the following: weirdo, creep,
molester, incredibly handsome, learning disabled, and snidely whiplash.
not all of these names were in reference to the mustache, just the good
ones. overall, it's been a wild ride and if i've learned anything of value
it's this: both matt irving and richard hart are excellent gentlemen, but
come on, they're foreigners! vote for me. keep mustaches where they
belong: in the USA! down with foreigners! they hate our freedom and only
want to place an added burden on our already taxed national resources. and
they want to sodomize us. foreigners want to sodomize every last american
man, woman, and child. join me in saying no! no more forced sodomy,
foreigners! not on my watch! god bless the USA. -Andreas Trolf
And now the photos.
Let the voting begin. Remember, there's a banjo at stack here. This isn't a toy banjo either- probably something pretty nice.
Pick your favorite stash!! Will it be...
#1 - Richard Hart????
#2 - Andreas Trolf?????
or #3 - Matt Irving????
Comments
///////// Not sure if the others will let me vote, but if so... Man, it's hard to choose. For thickness and creepness, I gotta go with Richard's... Matt's is like a squirrel on his face, but Rich's creeps me out the most. Ugh. Andreas's has old time' ice parlor style but it's not as thick as the other two... I woulda' killed you guys!! Written by trippe on 2007-07-10 10:38:33
///////// #2 but can he play the banjo? Written by cheapsunglasses on 2007-07-10 10:41:36
///////// Man, it's close, but I'm going to have to go with Irving. It may be the simple fact that he shaved the rest of his face before the photo shoot. To really own it, you gotta keep it clean, guys. Now go shave those fucking things off. Who wants pubic hair between their nose and mouth? Gross. Written by Natural on 2007-07-10 11:03:17
///////// richarddddddd they all look like they should be in a montey python skit though Written by Voleurz on 2007-07-10 11:16:50
///////// IRVING Written by chvostal on 2007-07-10 11:21:27
///////// Is this a beer commercial? This photo shoot really creeped me out.. like my friends were really in a banna republic ad or something.
anyways, I'm going to go with #1. Written by Jesse on 2007-07-10 11:34:34
///////// Andreas. Written by 333 on 2007-07-10 11:51:17
///////// #3 Written by gaelan on 2007-07-10 11:56:52
///////// Irving, definately. Written by Kremloin on 2007-07-10 12:05:51
///////// gonna have to go with Andreas Trolf... he looks so distinguished. by the way, what type of camera was used to take these shots?
Cheers Andreas! Bet of luck...
THINK BIG, live small... DSNT. Written by dsntone on 2007-07-10 12:20:46
///////// andreas' is the most impressive from afar, irving's seems to be the longest, but for an unknown reason rich's seems to pull me in. i will eschew the longest or most thickest for the most fitting. andreas, you have my vote! Written by pesya on 2007-07-10 12:26:40
///////// clearly andreas wins it; such style, such panache.... #3 is nice as well, clean, shapely, a little bit mischevious... but it has to be #2, hes got the total package
///////// i don't get it, irony is lame. whats the big deal? its a mustache... Its as dumb as wearing the hello im wearing an ironic t-shirt thing. But i guess you guess get all the pussy Written by timmmy williams on 2007-07-10 13:01:46
///////// #1 beautiful shape to it Written by theweightofarms on 2007-07-10 13:18:47
///////// holy cow they are all pretty good. but i will have to go with... oh snap this is so hard but... IRVING #3 Written by nicholas on 2007-07-10 13:39:52
///////// irving #3 (was close, but trolf's rant lost me and hart's gloves are creepy) after reading this, i came across this mustache piece by travis millard's mom: http://www.fudgefactorycomics.com/ART/herethere/18.html
///////// so john which one is it for you? if that's yours after one day you would've won in 3 days. honestly, wow. Written by pesya on 2007-07-10 15:57:38
///////// I'm actually three weeks into growing my first mustache and I have to say I've become quite fond of the little guy. And it just so happens that I am an avid bocce ball player, but I digress. I'd have to go with Andreas Trolf. Not only does he sport a spiffy stache, but he's wearing that keen cardigan and spectacular polyester old man pants. He is the whole package. Written by mayonnaiseslacks on 2007-07-10 16:19:11
///////// #2, all hail the beaver lip Written by troncho on 2007-07-10 16:50:09
///////// #2 - Andreas Trolf his fuckn curls at the ends Written by joker on 2007-07-10 17:18:19
///////// Andreas Trolf for sure. he looks like an old man. which is a good thing obviously. Written by kyre on 2007-07-10 19:34:54
///////// andreas for the curl Written by battle on 2007-07-10 20:24:04
///////// #3- I'm impressed by the flare with which you've all rocked your stashes, but Matt's seems to come from a whole other era entirely- one when the stash had no irony, all style. Written by first mate on 2007-07-10 21:35:26
///////// All the rest are just living in Matt's stash world! BC facial hair is top drawer. #3 Written by stem on 2007-07-11 01:43:34
///////// irving. moustashtistic! Written by ayejay on 2007-07-11 08:27:13
///////// They all look pretty good, but I am going to go with Andreas. Go USA! Written by ccc on 2007-07-11 09:18:05
///////// #2 is especially nice because he's got the little pringle-man up-turned edges! Written by CherryWinters on 2007-07-11 09:46:48
///////// Mandreas! Written by Tracie on 2007-07-11 11:20:35
///////// trolf. what class... Written by elowsky on 2007-07-11 11:42:20
///////// #2 has a wee bit of a curl goin' on so he wins my vote. Yowza! Written by fausthaus on 2007-07-11 12:11:29
///////// #2 looks like he was born with the damn thang. Written by J.R. on 2007-07-11 12:36:41
///////// #2. They are all beautiful in their own right, but Andreas's just looks so creepy with the minute curls. Pick and strum hard, my friend. Written by bryan on 2007-07-11 13:13:44
///////// fuck ya. that rich has a great stash #1. Written by Sarah on 2007-07-11 20:59:08
///////// #3 like anne of green gabels . . . .all class Written by nattlj on 2007-07-11 21:31:03
///////// canadian bacon, #3 but a round of nice one to everyone involved Written by 39 judah on 2007-07-12 00:22:59
///////// Oh, come on, guys. The moustache is a way of life. You can't just look the stash, you have to embody it. And Andreas definitely has the entire moustachio life-style going on.
He deserves the banjo. Written by JenMussari on 2007-07-12 08:28:45
///////// #1 Richard Hart because he looks best with the mustache and would look best with the banjo as well. Wish I knew what kind it was. Written by tradewinds svengali on 2007-07-12 11:01:09
///////// #2... such a hard decision, though. Get three banjos and start a turn of the century power trio. Written by statts kaos on 2007-07-12 11:05:52
///////// Two more months and Andreas could fully curl it out like Rollie Fingers! So that's why I vote for him, cause legend has it that he could throw a baseball with his 'stache. Written by geoffmac on 2007-07-12 12:02:02
///////// im digging the nice little curl Trolf's tache! Written by waywaiwaywai* on 2007-07-12 12:12:12
///////// gotta go with the trolf, hands down. Written by that_dude on 2007-07-12 13:44:58
///////// Andreas for the fish hooks on the end, he could catch two trout and get a drink of water all at the same time. Written by Salvador Gnarly on 2007-07-13 00:57:34
///////// Those are all fine mustaches! After much debate I'm going to have to give it to Irving. Andreas yours is great and creepy but Matt's just embodies Canada so well with the mustache, hat, paid jacket combo that I could just see him dropping the kids off at hockey practice and then heading down to do some curling or 5 pin bowling while drinking a Pilsner. Written by george on 2007-07-13 15:31:55
///////// my vote goes to andreas. it really works for him. Written by sheswinsexy on 2007-07-13 18:13:37
///////// Matt's looks completely fake- Rich's has awesome style and Andreas is just nipple twinstin sex-hey. The photos are crazee good, but John's a pussy for backing out. Rich has my vote. Written by llama dink on 2007-07-13 19:36:55
///////// #2. the french curl Written by p to the am on 2007-07-13 21:22:56
///////// Irving Written by kcollantes on 2007-07-13 21:28:27
///////// id have to say matt irving because he looks sort of like carey elwes Written by BeachwoodSpark on 2007-07-13 23:17:20
///////// #1 is pretty gross. Good job. Me like! Written by Kartz on 2007-07-15 13:33:04
///////// Richard is a creep enough to have such a stash. Number one gets the vote. Written by godmonkey on 2007-07-15 13:38:24
///////// #2 - Andreas Trolf.
oh dear... it's strange because it makes me all fluttery.
///////// number one-richard Written by twisto on 2007-07-16 10:51:55
///////// My vote is for Mr. Hart. I actually have to kiss this mustache! Written by julieakiko on 2007-07-16 11:11:24
///////// #2 because it's got a nice little twirl on it Written by lkhuse on 2007-07-16 11:51:58
///////// Andreas, hands down, but honestly i would be honored to play croquet with all three of theses fine men of such stache stature. Written by james vep on 2007-07-16 12:04:39
///////// i'd have to go with matt irvings...it's a perfect mix between refinement and neglect, something i'd never thought i'd say about a mustache of a complete stranger. thanks fecal face. Written by MASEMAN on 2007-07-16 12:51:13
///////// #1 Written by madlib on 2007-07-16 13:58:14
///////// The three gentleman could light a village with those eloquent staches, but #2 has the neatest pushbroom of the three Written by dirtymontes on 2007-07-16 14:17:37
///////// andreas. just the right amount of subtle up-curl... Written by sweetsweetdrew on 2007-07-16 14:56:03
///////// #2, most stylish Written by sam_me on 2007-07-16 15:48:38
///////// #1 is soo sick. #3 looks like it's straight out of a painting by renoir Written by cannon on 2007-07-16 15:56:47
///////// #1 Written by awwwdrey on 2007-07-16 16:31:43
///////// its gotta be this guy...hope you had fun in portland Andreas!
///////// Andreas - points given for the handlebar attempt... Written by imaginedavis on 2007-07-16 19:53:43
///////// Andreas dudes! for sure. Written by daverau on 2007-07-16 22:36:18
///////// Gotta go with Richard. The fullness, the shape - the quintessential American sleezeball banjoista. Beautiful.
Honorable mention to Andreas. Written by thefictionista on 2007-07-16 23:24:48
///////// #2 Written by folik on 2007-07-17 02:13:21
///////// Andreas... he's a changed man. Written by soybean on 2007-07-17 02:15:26
///////// #3 irving's wins no doubt. hart's is good and andreas' is really creepy but matt's is longer and fuller than everyone elses. also, you can tell that mr. hart has done some trimming so he should get dq'd since the rules stated that it'd be untrimmed and mr. trippe should pitch in on the banjo since cutting out early means you lost.
///////// dudes, irving is clearly the superior stache-haver (though if andreas had been wearing leiderhosen i might have voted differently). p.s. this is what's her name voting from the nightowlcoholic's computer. Written by nightowlchoholic on 2007-07-17 18:41:59
///////// 2 Andreas Trolf. I feel bad that they dont all get Banjos though. Perhaps we should start a banjo fund after the competition to help the other two follow their dreams as well. Written by moosabman on 2007-07-17 19:11:36
///////// #1, mr. hart- his is like whale baleen! Written by cartogropher on 2007-07-18 17:07:03
///////// andreas-- i can't resist those little curly curls
but i'd do all of them. all at the same time. Written by faetm on 2007-07-18 21:59:30
///////// matt irving, NO DOUBT. Written by Turntablemessiah on 2007-07-18 23:23:05
///////// Richard Hart by a long hair Written by JCHESTER on 2007-07-19 07:44:00
///////// AND THE WINNER IS ANDREAS
-- I thought we had some fraud up here since 14 of his votes were from people who registered after the contest went live, but even taking out those 14 votes he still has enough to win and thus will win himself some sort of banjo! Congrats, Geezer!! Written by trippe on 2007-07-19 09:56:27
///////// Goddammit but Richard sure looks like Captain Beefheart. Written by goofbutton on 2007-07-23 10:02:17
///////// i've been sodomized by foreigners, and yes, it felt quite duh-vine.
BUT: we're living in a "wartime."
so, i vote american, i vote andreas Written by Agitain1 on 2007-07-23 22:22:56
///////// I would say Andreas, but keeping in mind it's for a banjo, I'll have to go with Irving. He's got the look for it!
///////// I voted Richard Hart because he reminded me of the sleazy sort I'd meet in dreams (especially with the bruised eye), not to mention I just met him at Amoeba. The introducing then the walking away. Better luck next time all around. Written by LosBigEyes on 2007-08-01 20:40:53
///////// There as an Asian Mustache Olympics a few years back in the same vein: http://community.livejournal.com/asianlipservice/ Written by aquietevolution on 2007-08-29 10:20:48
///////// corny ass crackers....... Written by whatever on 2007-11-09 10:35:36
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