Matt Irving guest blogs up his favorite German mega rave.
From time to time we ask artist friends and retards to do up a guest blog of some art show/ trip/ bonfire/ hospital visit/ tooth ache/ whatever for some entertainment fun joys... Below Matt Irving of Delphi Collective blogs up a recent/ random trip to Berlin.

I just happened to be in Berlin at the same time as the Love Parade. It's the world's largest dance party that has 60 huge semi-trucks full of speakers that drive around on the main road that Hitler used to march his troops into Berlin on as a parade of the Nazi regime. If you've ever wanted to see German techno at it's finest, this would be the place to do it. Here's a sound-panel to get you in the mood.

Strap on your Camel-Back, grab some sauerkraut and we're off to Berlin…

Love Doctors were on hand. Safety First.

Teletubbies of the German variety. (Bonus: Todd Francis sighting!)

"Okay girls… if you all dress up like, ummm, I don't know, how about total skanks for an example? I'll wear WHATEVER you wear. I'm just gonna do this for you the team though, I'm not into it or anything. I'm just a team player."

This is the Brandenburg Gate. It was one of Hitler's favorite icons that he flaunted to show that the Nazi's had power. Originally it was built as a symbol of peace in the late 1700's, which was later conquered by Napoleon. Now we all know that Hitler liked to stroke himself, so he had to have Napoleon's gate and then he had to party with 1.5 million people a few decades later. Nice work Adolf, we know you're still alive.

Adidas sock posse mixed with a little bit of Harlem Globe Trotters and a side order of Power Rangers.

These dudes were feeling the leg warmers…

Obviously they're so good you end up getting a pair of arm warmers to match.

Don't spill your tallboy Juliet Lewis. Good thing you won't have arm and leg chafe from your random dry humping.

Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Here's a few of the 60 trucks with people partying on top and a DJ sitting up on the rear tower.

Feeling the groove. Sucking it up through their nostrils and partying all the way down to their Capri-pants. Red Bull? YES. Wacky Glasses? YUP. Shirt? DAS IST VERBOTEN.

These are the people that get to be on the party trucks. They're all about 30 to 35 but they look like they're about 50 because their career is partying in Ibiza. Lots of finger pointing happening from these trucks. You know the "Hey bro, you're the man!" type of finger pointing. But in reality they're saying, "Hey bro, I'm the man you stupid little shit. I've been partying since you were a sperm. Respect your elders young one. I'm bloated, I need this ride, I paved the road that you call your lifestyle!"

Read above.

Dance Lola Dance.

1.5 million people and we actually found Waldo. He was pissed that someone stole his shirt and cane.

Gold Bond before the hot pants.

Smoke Break.

Hey, do you dudes want to party all night and then go and harass some minorities? Ahhh, never mind, I forgot my washboard stomach at home. Tell your buddy that I like his over-the-head sunglasses. They're tight.

WHOA... easy Klaus, I said I liked his sunglasses!

In the words of Paul Urich… "Uhhh-merica."

Buddy with the telephoto lens is so bummed he missed it. Would have been a cover shot for sure.

This is the first time that I've ever thought of people partying with Hitler's relics…

the Swedes were obviously seasoned veterans at the concept.

"ROCKSTAR ADDICTED BACKSTAGE BABY"

In the words of Jeremy Fish... "I remember my first Love Parade."

"Gotta get back to Springfield to drive the school bus."

"Suuum-baw-dee SCREEEEEEEAM!"

Alan Alda from MASH was there. That's Clinger behind him.

Let's do this...

This guy completely ruined the whole tribal thing that he had going on. A tribal beard would have been a much better choice.

If the German's won't let a black man dance shirtless on top of a giant speaker-truck with a whole bunch of white men wearing all white; then the Nazi's have definitely won.

The Bauhaus followed a general rule for design that "Form should follow the function", which is well exemplified in this photo.

If you guys press charges against the Love Parade because you got a cold and missed work on Monday, I'm going to cut off your balls if I can find them AND I'll tell your boss that you stole a roll of masking tape.

Apocalypse Now. We finally made it to the big party at the tower.

It was a raging inferno.

The official Love Parade flag.

Everybody loves the Reichstag. History is so bitchin' when it makes you dance.

This guy's dance style was my favorite. The crotch rub thing doesn't translate that well to words so you'll just have to watch. That's it from the Love Parade. Until next time...

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