This isn't some "official" tour sanctioned by the City of San Francisco, instead Jeremy walks you through a collection of overlooked and neglected treasures as well as flights of fancy of his own invention.
Photos by Jesse Pollock
and Andreas Trolf

Jesse and I are lazy bastards. I hate using unflattering personality traits as an excuse, but it's true. This dude Jeremy Dalmas sent us this audio tour of Golden Gate Park ages ago, and we only just the other day got around to going on the damn thing. We should have gone months ago, when Jeremy sent us a link to the tour, but we didn't. And yet, oddly enough, things couldn't have worked out better because as it turns out Jeremy recorded the tour during the spring/summer months and had we gone in the dead of winter we'd have missed some pretty neat stuff along the way.

So anyhow, on a recent bright spring morning Jesse and I had some coffee and made our way to the corner of Fulton and Stanyan Streets where the tour officially begins. We put on our headphones and counted down from three in order to synch up our respective audio devices. I'll let the photos speak for themselves at much as possible mainly due to the aforementioned laziness, but also so as to safeguard the little secrets and nuances of Jeremy's narration. This isn't some "official" tour sanctioned by the City of San Francisco, instead Jeremy walks you through a collection of overlooked and neglected treasures as well as flights of fancy of his own invention.

The tour itself consists of Jeremy's poetic narration, guiding you step-by-step through most of the northeastern portion of the park (with only brief lapses in directions where you may find yourself backtracking, but maybe getting slightly lost is actually more fun than having your hand held the entire time. Who knows?), set to field recordings of the park as well as a tapestry of ambient soundscapes. The music begins quietly, barely audible, and builds in waves and layers, alternating textures to suit whatever park environment you happen to find yourself in.

Jeremy's voice maybe deserves a quick mention as well. It's perhaps the one thing that keeps the tour from descending into preciousness, especially when he goes off on the occasional tangent or tends towards the maudlin and melodramatic. But Jeremy's narration takes these inclinations and makes them not only forgivable, but enjoyable. He sounds like a woodland sprite sitting on your shoulder gently whispering into your ear. He's there with you as you duck under a tangle of bushes looking for a pack of feral cats, playing the flute and wind chimes. It's really quite magical, and it's Jeremy himself that elevates the tour above the mundanities of simply walking through a park you've walked through perhaps a thousand times before. I can only recommend taking the tour for yourself.

But here's the thing about it that really struck me: Do not go on this tour by yourself. Go with a friend or two. And don't listen to Jeremy's tour on a boom box or anything; make sure you all listen to the tour on headphones. Make double sure to press play at the same time. Something excellent happens then. It's as though you're being whispered a secret, only all the people you're with are hearing this secret at the same time. You'll be standing at the crossroads of one of the park's footpaths and suddenly Jeremy will direct your attention to something small and precious, and all your heads will turn at the same time. And then you're sharing a secret; something that deserves to be whispered and revered. You make eye contact and smile and suddenly you're not so alone as you thought you were.

Jesse's addendum: I should be added that I thought this tour was pretty terrible and sort of a waste of time. While the concept of creating your own audio tour is something that could turn out being really cool, this particular tour didn't teach me much of anything and instead forced me to listen to some hippy bullshit for about an hour. Not to mention that it only took us about 1/8 of the way into the park so it should be called the SW corner tour. It should be also be added however, that it was a great excuse to get outside and walk around the park bonding and whatnot. It was cool to be listening to the same thing as some one else and communicate with your expressions.

You can find out more information about the tour here and by checking Jeremy's site www.theabsurdists.com.. {moscomment}