Photos: Trippe & Trolf

Yeah, bad tattoos are basically a bummer, right? But they're also pretty much a rite of passage for bored and disenfranchised-feeling teenagers the world over. At least it was for about 95% of the people I know. Going to a reputable tattoo shop and getting a wizard or unicorn drilled into your lower back is totally fine, but nothing really takes the place of sitting around with a bunch of friends and some beers, enthusiastically taking turns poking each others' arms full of bad ideas-which actually is fun at any age.

It's easy-anyone can do it (even teenagers, who, according to recent scientific tests, don't even have fully functional brains). You probably already have all the materials you need at your disposal, and best of all nothing shows true fortitude of character quite like learning to live with a bad decision.

Here's what you'll need:
1) Sewing needles, not too big and not too little. Get a bunch.
2) Thread (one spool, stolen from your roommate's sewing kit).
3) A pencil or some such shaped object (this will be the handle for your tattooing needle).
4) India ink-black liquid acrylic (you can use other colors too, but I'd suggest sticking with basic black for now).
5) A razor (if you're especially hairy)
6) A thin-tipped marker. 0.05mm Rapidographs work fine. But a regular pen works too; you just want something that marks skin fairly well.
7) Clean hands, relatively free from tremors, open wounds, or Parkinson's Disease.
8) A willingness to see things through to their conclusion.
9) Enough booze to keep things interesting.

To start with, assemble all your supplies on your work surface.

Wait, on second thought, let's include one more thing in the photo:

Being neat isn't required, but my OCD makes me have to arrange everything at right angles to everything else. Disregarding neatness, let me caution you about one thing: blood-borne disease.

Ask yourself before starting: Do I know this person I'm going to tattoo? Am I relatively certain that this person does not have a disease I do not want to contract (and vice-versa)?

There will be a little blood, so it's best to be cautious. Again, don't have any open wounds on your hands (or wear latex gloves like professionals do, you pussy). Just try your best to keep things clean. By which I mean: Wash. Wash your hands. Scrub them down. And oh yeah, for the love of god, use a new needle for each person getting tattooed, okay?

Then take the needles you plan on using (remember: a new needle for every person getting a tattoo) and put them in a pan filled with a bit of boiling water and boil the hell right out of them. Once they're boiled and relatively germ free, handle them carefully.

Oh man, I forgot one incredibly important component to successful home tattooing: music. Music sets the mood. If you choose your music carefully, you'll create the proper ambience for the evening's activity.

Necessary albums include (but are not limited to):
The Rolling Stones-Tattoo You (obvious choice)
The Rolling Stones-Let It Bleed (put this on halfway through the first tattoo)
Thin Lizzy-Black Rose (this dude from Belgium who's staying on my couch had never heard Thin Lizzy before, which obviously had to be corrected immediately. And plus, lots of people get rose tattoos. Speaking of which, why not go ahead and put on some Rose Tattoo?)

Okay, now we're going to move on to actually constructing your rig. Take one of the boiled needles and with a whole bunch of thread carefully attach it to your handle (pencil, paintbrush, etc.).

Don't go trying to insert the eye-end of the needle in the pencil's eraser; that just doesn't work. What you're trying to do is fasten the needle securely to the pencil-once it's on there, you don't want that needle to budge. Leaving off about 1/2 inch of the tip of the needle, wrap the remaining bit of it tightly to your handle. Wrap it over and over and over. Then keep winding because the thread needs to cover almost the entire needle, pretty much right up to the point.

This is where neatness counts. You don't want a big ball of thread rolled all willy-nilly around your needle dripping ink everywhere, so when wrapping just the needle (not the handle) only give it one or two layers of thread. Wrap everything except for the last 1/16th of an inch. Definitely don't leave anymore than 1/8th of an inch showing. The purpose of the thread is to hold the ink. When stabbing the needle repeatedly into someone's flesh, the thread needs to come into contact with the skin so that the ink can get in there. If you leave too much of the needle tip unwrapped, you'll have to stab really deep and nobody wants that. Seriously, I can't stress this enough: leave just a tiny bit of needle showing. You'll thank me later.

Once you've got that out of the way, you may want to disinfect the needle one more time before plunging it into anyone. If you're like me and don't own a hospital-grade autoclave, just use your lighter. Just remember to let the needle cool down before you get to work, otherwise you'll brand your friend instead of giving them a tattoo, and everyone knows that branding is retarded.

Doesn't it look like I'm about to smoke some crack in that second photo? Also, don't pay any attention to those finger tattoos, 'cause they're not homemade.

This is pretty much all you're going to need. Well, a couple of paper towels too. But that's it. Once your rig is finished, you'll need to decide on a tattoo. Get everyone together and start drawing. Remember, these are homemade tattoos and as such they will lack the finery of shop-bought tattoos. Unless you've got all the time in the world and a high tolerance for pain, steer clear of things like shading, coloring, straight lines, and realistic portraits. Keep the tattoo small, not only for practicality's sake but because nobody wants to see your full sleeve of pointillist nightmares.

So, ideas... keeping in mind the above caveats: go nuts. Seriously, make yourself a little masterpiece. The dumber the better. Dare your friends to get the worst tattoo you can imagine. Draw up a few pages of bad ideas. A good rule of thumb for homemade tattoos is that if everyone in the room laughs at the drawing, someone should probably get it. Also, another good rule is that if you tattoo someone, you have to suck it up and let them tattoo you afterwards.

Here are our ideas:

Jesse wanted either a cactus, a stegosaurus, or a dagger.

Nobody stepped up to the Herpes Heart, though.

I gave this one to Henry Lewis after he gave me those finger tattoos. Fair's fair, right?

I tried really hard to get Trippe to agree to one of these. But apparently he doesn't want people to think that he's from Tuff Town.

Here's a homemade tear that my friend Carrie gave me. It's to let people know how emotionally fragile I am.

Once everyone has decided on a tattoo, it's best to eat a big meal to build up your strength. And it's probably not such a bad idea to have some more beer. Devon made us eggplant rolotini and it was delicious. Just look at what a good time we're all having.

Finally, it's time to get started. Devon was up first. She's pretty trusting, although possibly that may have been all the booze she was drinking. She brought her own bottle of lemon liqueur. She's also pretty un-marked up, so the pressure was on for me to do a good job so that she won't hate me forever. She asked for a simple tetrahedron on the inside of her arm. Coming right up.

Before you take your marker and draw the design on, you may want to shave the area. Devon didn't need to shave, but Jesse had a thicket of bristles on the back of his arm that needed to be removed before going any further.

It's a good idea to draw without stretching the skin too much, otherwise the design is going to be lopsided. It's also a good idea to pick a location that's a bit fleshy. The thousand jabs of the needle will hurt less that way, although it doesn't hurt terribly much to begin with and plus you're going to be pretty medicated with booze (and other stuff, if your name happens to be Jesse Pollock).

I'm going to show these photos out of order, just so you know. The reason for this is because we have different photos of different people taken at various times throughout the tattooing procedure, and also I have a complete disregard for coherent chronology. So we'll switch back and forth between Devon and Jesse in order to see the process the whole way through.

I will admit to feeling a little creepy at one point, though. When Devon was lying down getting settled I asked her if there was anything I could do to make her feel more at ease, like if I should put on a specific album or something. As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I felt like some sort of potential molester, like I was all, "Shh, shh, it's okay. Trust me, baby. It won't hurt too much... now hush up."

For some reason both of these photos look incredibly unsavory to me. It actually looks like this could be the beginning of a porno or something. Let me assure you, there was no funny business going on.

Although Jesse did look oddly comfortable just lying there, face down on the bed.

Once everyone is comfortable and ready to go, have at it. Dip your wrapped-up needle into the ink just enough to soak the thread but not too much so that ink is dripping everywhere. With your free hand, kind of stretch out the slack skin where the tattoo is going. You'll have to keep the skin fairly taut while poking the needle in there, so this might not work that great with really old people. Although I have yet to try tattooing a really old person, so who knows?

Then start poking. Follow the design you've drawn. Since you're unable to make lines using this method, you have to make a million little dots that eventually become lines. This can get a little tedious, but just stick with it. Keep jabbing, making sure to dip your needle in the ink every once in a while as the thread dries up.

After the first few initial pokes, it's unavoidable that there's going to be some ink on the skin surrounding the tattoo. Try your best to intuit where the dots should go and every so often wipe the ink away with a paper towel.

Here's the beginning of Devon's tetrahedron. See those lines? They're really a bunch of tiny dots! Amazing! Gaze upon them and marvel.

This group of dots is going to be a tough dagger on Jesse's arm. I wish he would have let me add "Tuff Town," although maybe we should save that for Jay Howell. Anyhow, keep poking. Keep wiping. You're doing great!

After a long while of poking your friend in the arm, the dots finally start to take form and turn into a tattoo. Patience is key, so just take your time and savor the moment. Get a witty repartee going, after all, this tattoo means you're now friends forever (or, more to the point: 4eva!).

Above, you can see Jesse's new dagger. I think it came out pretty good. You have to use your best judgment to decide when the tattoo is finished. A week or two later, once it's all healed, you may even have to go back and fill in some spots-but for now don't go too overboard, okay?

Not bad, eh?

After all the stabbing is finished, it might be a good idea to wash your new tattoo with warm water and plenty of soap. You probably won't have to bandage it unless you poked too deep, so just pat it dry and apply a tiny little bit of A+D ointment or something. Just enough to keep the skin from drying out, but not so much that your tattoo can't breathe. Homemade tattoos like these generally heal pretty quickly, usually within a week you'll be good as new.

There, all finished. Doesn't it feel good to accomplish something? Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for seeing something through all the way to the end. You've always been a great disappointment to your mother and me, but this time you've really made us proud!

Oh yeah, so to follow my own rule I got Devon and Jesse to form a tag-team and give me a tattoo as well.

And there you have the finished product: a beautiful, dainty diamond! Notice all the nearby remnants of other home tattooing experiments.

This is only one of a myriad ways of tattooing yourself. Another popular method, though more time-consuming and skill-intensive, is actually constructing your own tattoo machine. All you really need to do this is an old cassette Walkman, some 10 gauge guitar strings (high E, preferably), and Bic pens. If anyone is interested in building one of these, you can e-mail me for plans ( ). Or, if you're feeling especially brave you can use the traditional Maori method of tattooing, which is to cut deep grooves into your skin and then rub a mixture of ash and water into the open wound. The scars turn out phenomenal!

Also, why don't we just go ahead and have a contest? Send photos of your best homemade tattoos to us at fecal and the winner will receive a package of goodies courtesy of Coda Skateboards (www.codaskateboards.com). Judging and the awarding of prizes will be at the sole discretion of me.

Next month's How To will be a pin-hole camera. E-mail us if you have any ideas for future How To's. Thanks.

Comments

///////// N'importe quoi les mecs !  Written by on 2006-08-10 14:48:19

///////// how to be a bitch. Written by caasi on 2006-08-10 15:03:40

///////// niiiice ;D Written by on 2006-08-10 15:10:49

///////// if you write a book of how to's I'll buy it. If you come to New Mexico I will show you some amazing ditches and let you sleep on my rooftop beer garden. If someone like me reads this and thinks like me wow this guy is super hot and super funny and you two want to get married ,I will marry the two of you (I got ordained online) and if you are already married congratulations. oooh homemade ghettofabthai ring tattoos rad. Written by Ivy Anna Costello on 2006-08-10 15:17:03

///////// this home made tattoo trend worries me....  boiling needles in water doesn't do shit...hep c is a classic example....pretty fucked for a crap tattoo trend that's a year past it's 15 seconds of hipster fame. Written by careful on 2006-08-10 15:18:49

///////// irresponsible and just plain stupid.  do you do your own dental work, too? Written by on 2006-08-10 15:31:50

///////// I just emailed Giant. Waiting to hear back from him to see what he thinks about this. I trust his opinion. We don't want anyone to get sick or anything. Written by trippe on 2006-08-10 15:39:36

///////// I want the tuff and ruthless tatty bad. Lots of cross contamination craziness here, but fuck it whats a little disease between friends. If youre gonna do this make sure not to dip the needle in the same bottle of ink for everyone, pour that shit into a beer cap or spoon or something, but at the same time your slingin and stingin without gloves anyways so who cares. I really like the sky whale too, that shit is off the muscle!! bravo heres a link to my shop made tattoos www.honkeykong.com but ive been inspired to do some home mad jammys, I'll share when i get there. havent done one since 8th grade Written by honkeykong on 2006-08-10 15:45:30

///////// i just emailed Oprah.  don't do anything until she has reviewed and commented this most unconventional and unique ritual. Written by on 2006-08-10 16:18:01

///////// When I was 13 I made one out of a Walkman  I needed it for the motor.  Tatted up all the Kids in the hood.  Still got em to prove it.    And they got theirs. Written by Jesse Edwards on 2006-08-10 16:34:29

///////// from the website for needle exchange:  (not the same, i know, but still relevant) you don't have to be a professional tatto artist to know that boiling needles + sharing inkwells is dangerous...        "Hepatitis C virus is difficult to kill, it appears to be heat resistant and cannot be killed by boiling. It can exist for up to 30 days outside the body and does not appear to be killed by chemicals like bleach or isopropyl alcohol.    For this reason bleaching or boiling used needles and syringes will not kill this virus. The only way to avoid infection is to use a new fit every time you inject and not to share fits between users."  Written by wtf on 2006-08-10 16:42:00

///////// The whole hep c deal can be easily sidestepped by buying some new needles. What are they, like 5 cents per 1,000? Geez. If you guys used new needles maybe you should point that out so people stop freaking out. If you didn't....read above.    (btw andreas can give me a soda tattoo anyday) Written by mlb on 2006-08-10 18:37:20

///////// hey jk i can't read good don't post the first comment ok? i thought it wasn't clear but it is so boy is my face red. and the bottlecap solution is perfect. Written by mlb on 2006-08-10 18:40:03

///////// awesome, hep-c of not, keep on how to'n! Written by jordan on 2006-08-10 18:41:12

///////// i don't know why these "how to's" create so much of a stir. andreas is the homie. and, though better not to have than to, hep c only acclerates the degradation of your liver - something most of the people who read this website do on a daily basis anyway. i haven't seen any comments suggesting that the amount of booze (the number #1 cause fir liver disease) shown on the site is inapproriate, have i? secondly, though biologically possible, tattooing has not been proven to a significant cause of hep c infection. the cdc reports less that 1% of infected persons have an history of being tattooed - under any condition. know your facts. Written by assley on 2006-08-10 20:08:49

///////// that's pretty amazing, i love the whale saying SHH! so cute. Written by vanessa on 2006-08-10 20:20:16

///////// word to ya mother Written by billy white rice on 2006-08-10 20:50:50

///////// If your worried about it than dont do it. Its plenty safe as long as you dont share needles. Written by Elvis Strozier on 2006-08-10 21:07:00

///////// who let mandreas do the tattooing in his boxers? saucy... Written by yasha on 2006-08-10 22:55:26

///////// I remember, maybe 10 years ago,watching Decline of Western Civilization and being drunkenly inspired by the X part to do some home made tattoos. I had some electric squiggly pen that i modified and shove a pencil end in it. I figured the vibration would kinda be like a tattoo machine. If ya got one of those fancy electric erasers that might work pretty well. Anyway I gave myself one, a circle right on my ankle bone (note: tattoo's near or on bones hurt more) and I did a D.R.I. running dude on the top of my girlfriends foot. She was stoked, though I'm not sure how she probably feels about it today. Aw shit, she was never the high heel wearing girl anyway. My circle still looks rad though. Written by Tiberinus on 2006-08-11 00:14:18

///////// there were a few good points already covered in the comments......here's a nother little fun fact though...that water would need to boil for over 12 hours and chances are that your ater will turn to steam and....the fun time of drunk tattooing will turn into another chance at getting something you dont want Written by on 2006-08-11 00:16:00

///////// i like how the sketch book says "john trippe is gay" Written by jtg on 2006-08-11 02:00:28

///////// Such a shitty tat on such a pretty girl.    hipster is old hat, yo!  Written by Ah fuck! on 2006-08-11 03:32:19

///////// Hey I don't have any tattoos at the moment and I never plan on getting any. I think all tatt's are stupid and I don't need to try to prove to the world I'm "cool and hip" besides I all ready have all the street cred I need, because I am the mayor of tuff town USA. And it's kinda nice knowing I just might be the only 24 year old in the nation without inked skin and piercing or any thing else that society has expect from our sad little generation, and besides everyone that anyone knows it’s all about lip-plates… oh wait now that is a little too X-treme and I might lose my trust found if I pulled that stunt….now that I think of it I don’t even have a cell phone or an i-pod. Anyways it’s a great tutorial on homemade tatt’s and I can wait to tattoo sponge bob on my 3 year old little brother before he grows-up and realizes how stupid both sponge bob and tatt’s are. Well at least he’ll be able to live it up for now and be the coolest kid at the city park that’s 3 years old and older Written by nevermind on 2006-08-11 06:17:12

///////// i'm totally from tuff town.  i saw bram's photo of the number 1 dipshit one, and i can't believe nobody there was the number 1 dipshit. Written by mccheese on 2006-08-11 08:56:43

///////// ouch. Written by crunchy pants on 2006-08-11 10:51:58

///////// GOOD GRAVY! Listen to you little pissant whiners! "WAAAHHH hepatitis c..BOOHOO!!!" Nothing but a dungpile of ca-ca-crap. Know what I think? I think you should all go out and do this. Go now. If you want to not share needles and ink, kudos to you. But for the love of God and all that is holy, please stop bitching and moaning. This is America, damn it. We have the freedom to voluntarily contract diseases if we damn well please. Written by misterchucklebunny on 2006-08-11 11:25:18

///////// nobody is making anyone get a tattoo. if you don't like, don't do it. gwad, there are some goofs posting comments these days. Myself included. Written by Sarah on 2006-08-11 13:22:58

///////// I want to know what Mike Giant has to say  Written by Angelique Houtkamp on 2006-08-11 15:09:18

///////// i want to know what the general professional tattoo community has to say. rather than just one specific tattooer. Written by on 2006-08-11 16:22:00

///////// ohhhhhh...  fuckit    is what it is!  Written by black pants on 2006-08-11 18:00:16

///////// first of all, the dude who talked shit about spongebog is a whiney tool. second of all, all of you stop talking like rappers. third of all, whoever said "hipster is old hat, yo!" is the gayest motherfucker on earth. seriously. Written by david on 2006-08-11 23:26:37

///////// Ive met tattooers who work in shops that know less about tattooing, blood borne pathogens, and art than is expressed in this here step by step. This seems to be more of a joke than anything, so slow down people. If u happen to get drunk and make some mistakes with friends, worse shit has happened im sure. Im glad i did a few in 8th grade, and am pissed i dont have one to show. If this starts a huge craze then theres a potential problem... for yall, but job security for me suckas. Anyways if youre gonna do it, at least wear gloves, new needles, and seperate inkwells. It is one thing to cross contaminate with friends when youre 14, but now that some of us are pushin 30 and made more than drunken tattoo mistakes the safety is a good idea... I just cant see anyone goin outta their way to do this, or stuff a fuckin ratt Written by honkeykong on 2006-08-12 00:56:26

///////// My man Tom in Australia just had a photo book of homeade tatts published...check it at....     http://www.serpspress.com/  Written by oz on 2006-08-12 01:16:45

///////// i want a tattoo of a naked azteca with sweet jugs, hep C or not. fuck the haterz. tattoo me, andreas.. Written by vanessa m. on 2006-08-12 01:27:36

///////// the main thing here, apart from the obvious health implications, is that the tattoos look shit. Written by scabs on 2006-08-12 06:05:12

///////// marry me  Written by zoe on 2006-08-12 13:38:35

///////// i love spam sandwiches Written by ismoketrees on 2006-08-12 14:07:08

///////// Thanks, Honkeykong. The last part of your comment is very insightful and logical. Written by on 2006-08-12 17:48:21

///////// doin this tonite Written by bob on 2006-08-12 21:55:02

///////// the tutorial would have been better if you would have showed tattooing techniques using home equipment instead of just showing us how to ruin our skin. maybe you should have called the tutorial: "you might be a redneck if....." or perhaps something like "what happens when psuedo-artists and beer collide" or maybe even "on the next maury povich..." Written by antony on 2006-08-12 22:22:13

///////// I did this back when I was 16, only without beer, clandestinely. Written by kamio on 2006-08-13 00:22:16

///////// i am totally gonna do this tomorrow when i get off of work...      fuck all you haters! Written by p-jilbs on 2006-08-13 19:03:19

///////// I loved this little article. take it seriously or not, it is funny and informative. it does explain the basics of the art of tattooing. hopefully anyone getting sleeved out or a backpiece would seek out the help of a professional artist. most people are probably too meek to try this....there in lies the humor. I did it with a buddy a few years ago broke, and bored. we were gonna do party dots on our hands(F.T.W., kill the pigs) wow cant tell you how glad I am I didn't do that. I do have a nice bone on my ankle to remember it all by. My girlfriend and I are now going to do each other. So if you're scared don't do it. If you're not be safe. your tattoo is for you and no one else, so if you think I did it "to be cool n' hip" get fucked. Written by justincornwell on 2006-08-13 20:36:27

///////// those tats look terrible, you guys have too much time on your hands. Written by medow on 2006-08-14 06:11:04

///////// Oh yeah! Very interesting !!  And very nice girl ! Love the haircut ! ^_' Written by Slim on 2006-08-14 08:01:41

///////// GHETTO......but sweeeeet! Written by daniel d on 2006-08-14 08:07:33

///////// wow, how to make a shitty tattoo...that's just brilliant.    douche Written by fuck off on 2006-08-14 13:34:13

///////// why would someone want a poopy homemade hipster tattoo? this and the mouse thing too are kind of dumb but i guess thats the point, right right. Written by nicholas venaglia on 2006-08-14 16:47:26

///////// Jesse left out all of the 'tuff' anecdotes. Thank god I wasn't invited. Written by Lil Tuffy on 2006-08-14 17:02:38

///////// dude, that's fucking acrylic. ur supposed to use india ink. unless you want some some good ol plastic under your skin.. free cancer for all around... ha ha . good luck. Written by rg on 2006-08-14 18:05:54

///////// bfd, for reals. Written by nina on 2006-08-15 19:20:05

///////// Ha dumb ass that's fucking acrylic. ur supposed to use india ink. like rg said cancer ,, but whatever I allways eat the wrapper to my cany bar tooo.       and dont worry the one that I did when I was 14 ( with india ink ) faded so now that Im 31 you can only see my newer good tattoos that mr Giant did on me when he was learning with his more moder tattoo machine , they make straight lines , you might want to try it out ? just a thought ,     Written by the novatron on 2006-08-15 20:14:15

///////// shit! Written by otto on 2006-08-15 21:37:29

///////// name dropping is borring. trippe, novatron and angelique, if you could pull mike's dick out of your mouth long enough to get that fact that i seriously doubt he really gives a shit either way. Written by please on 2006-08-15 23:27:40

///////// omg Written by phil on 2006-08-16 06:03:52

///////// wow, this site is getting dumber and farther away from actual art every damn day...i actually like it! hahaha  These fools look like they would do anything on here. Can we have a how to have a threesome (2 girls)? I wouldnt mind 'learning with pics'  How to have a threesome while tattooing ugly viral shit into a dead ass mouse while painting an oil still life with black tities and a gun  Written by on 2006-08-16 14:22:18

///////// i did this. based purely on trying to be fecalface cool. Written by brandon on 2006-08-16 17:48:12

///////// i think their fucking rad, and fuck any people with their negative comments Written by mildred on 2006-08-17 01:12:24

///////// "How to have a threesome while tattooing ugly viral shit into a dead ass mouse while painting an oil still life with black tities and a gun."    hahahaha holy shit. i think the person who wrote that deserves their very own blog on fecalface.    on another note, it's okay to do hilariously shitty things unrelated to art because it's funny! people are getting bitchy. Written by totally LOLin'! on 2006-08-17 01:55:29

///////// I love how-to's! Written by tbone on 2006-08-17 12:36:02

///////// clueless Written by t on 2006-08-17 14:51:04

///////// nice micron Written by sah on 2006-08-17 14:57:23

///////// haha hahahahah aaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaa a.  ha ha ha.     the oprah comment is my favorite.    but i wouldn't take a shit without her ok on it...let alone mike's. ESPECIALLY on such SERIOUS matters as stick and pokes. whew! THAT could have been a close one. Written by s.anita on 2006-08-17 16:48:26

///////// ...why do they take so great risk 4 sux a crapy shitz..? Written by xez on 2006-08-18 02:05:01

///////// that skywhale is the goddamn coolest thing i have ever seen. Written by dunkle on 2006-08-18 02:42:13

///////// We're all trying so hard to look like next britpop pseudo-punk facial-hair wannabe-nihilist fuckin INDIVIDUALS we all look alike. A few pointers, perhaps in the wrong post.    Comb your fucking HAIR  Put on some CLEAN clothes - socks and jocks that fucking HONE are not pleasant.  Stop fucking WHINING  GET OFF your mom and pop's couch and put off the TV.  WEAR a shirt with long sleeves that FIT the length of your ARMS.  WAKE UP before 2pm.  GET a JOB - if you're an artist (and i use this term loosely), FUCKING paint something!  QUIT posting stupid fucking comments and other cyber vitriol from your temporary position at Kinko's.  STOP talkin' GHETTO, you white bread motherfuckers!  Be creative, or are we all on FUCKING SABBATICAL?  (You can't be on a Sabbatical after years of being a layabout leech - you gotta work hard and achieve shit first!)    And lastly, please, take this to heart: THERE ARE NO TRUE NIHILISTS, THEY'VE ALL KILLED THEMSELVES ALREADY.  if you consider yourself suffering unbearable ennui, no point, nihilist-there's-nothing-on-TV etc etc, then kindly bump yourself off already! FUCKSAKES!    Written by Hipster Art Fag, bored. on 2006-08-18 03:29:01

///////// ...to take my hat off while having a meal.    It's just good manners. Written by My father taught me... on 2006-08-18 03:31:17

///////// There is nothing more frightening than a home tattoo.    Unless you and the person who is tattooing you are speaking two different languages.    I got mine in Japan and had to sign a form saying  "I have no connection with mafia".   They spoke at me and all I knew how to say was 'hai'  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.   But now I have a nice collection of birds attempting to fly off my wrist.    Home tattooing is the shit.    I dare you. Written by Jo on 2006-08-18 03:39:44

///////// please, never say the word, "hipster". it embarrasses me and everyone here. thx.    FF is the best. site. ever. don't. hate. Written by jam on 2006-08-18 11:07:10

///////// Remind me to check andreas for HEP C next time I see him... You never Know with ALL of those JAIL HOUSE TATS!!!  AWESOME BLOG!!!!! Nice to see you are keeping Busy Andreas! >> JJ Written by Jim Johnson on 2006-08-18 13:15:35

///////// so chill! Written by kev on 2006-08-18 20:49:32

///////// Just fucking dumb Hep can survive outside of the body for up to 45+ days in some cases. You can contract it from as little as sitting on a public toilet seat or a cough in the face from a stranger in a club. Boiling h20 in a dirty fry pan that you all probably had brunch out of is really smart. The ink you are using also has fucking shellac in it to give it its shine. Seek professional help or just ask ?  most of us Tattooists aren't that mean and scary .   Teaching this shit to kids out there is just irresponsible this stuff can lead to a staff infection or worse and even a simple infection can kill.   Written by Trevor Mackay a concerned tatt on 2006-08-19 02:15:02

///////// maybe you all didn't read above where dude said   "let me caution you about one thing: blood-borne disease.  Ask yourself before starting: Do I know this person I'm going to tattoo? Am I relatively certain that this person does not have a disease I do not want to contract (and vice-versa)?"    although i guess if you're gonna go around tattooing homeless crust punks or promiscuous fags, then maybe you should start worrying and listen to ass-hats like trevor mackay, who is undoubtedly a mean and scary, albeit very professional tattooist.    get a sense of humor. Written by shut up retards on 2006-08-19 12:16:32

///////// i am a tattoo artist and you assholes are fucking embarrassing. i can't believe this is on one of my favorite art sites. it's complete trash. it should be on an asshole's myspace, not here.    i've lost a lot of respect for those on this site. i feel sorry that there are a lot of good artists here that have to be around this shit on this site...also, you don't have to have a disease to spread infection or blood borne pathogens, boiling is NOT a proper way to clean needles. i hope you guys get infections and your appendages fall off. fecalface, i love everything on this site except that TRASH you let come on here. Written by blegs on 2006-08-19 18:28:01

///////// I am a professional tattoo artist....this is the most irresponsible thing I have evr seen....you people should all be checked every 6 months for HIV and Hep not to mention MRSA...the new bacteria that is more contagious than hep and will KILL YOU!! I cannot believe you put this on this site!!    What IDIOTS!!! Written by ANTHONY on 2006-08-19 18:38:01

///////// kEEP iN REAL trippe!  yoU POST TBEST FEATURES EVER!!!!  tHEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    i LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    iTS THE BEST THING iVE SEEN IN A WHILE! Written by jESSE eDWARDS on 2006-08-20 02:58:49

///////// I work at Zebra...my name is anthony Written by Anthony on 2006-08-20 05:48:51

///////// it's STAPH infection, first of all, and you can't get Hep C from a cough or sitting on a toilet seat. It may be irresponsible to do a homemade tattoo lesson, esp. the sterilization part, but really the worst that going to happen is an infection. Staph infection is from the bacteria Staphylococcus and can either be very treatable, but sometimes fatal. I guess if you use your brain just slightly you could avoid this. "In U.S. hospitals, MRSA causes up to 40%-50% of staph infections" - webMD    I'm willing to bet the majority of people and readers should be more concerned about Hep B&C and HIV from other sources like unprotected sex.    It's extremely irresponsible to be an alarmist about things, and to perpetuate myths about where disease comes from. Written by nk on 2006-08-20 13:19:32

///////// i have hep c. i will have some home made tattoos please and then share them with you. i cant believe how crazy irresponsible you guys are. i am telling our surrogate mommy on telegrpah hill. she will spank you, and teach you all a lesson you will not soon forget Written by henry cartier on 2006-08-20 13:31:30

///////// To nk  If you read my comment clearly you might have noticed that nowhere in my comment have I written the words HEP C I simply stated that hep can be transmitted through a variety of ways. A cough in the face and sitting on a toilet can transmit a HEP A virus the same way that an ice cube can . This is not misinformation , yes HEP C is contracted through blood to blood contact . Staph infections are from bacteria and even dead bacteria known as a (PYROGEN) can still cause dangerously high fevers which in some cases could lead to death.    I can not agree with your comment about being an extremely irresponsible alarmist who perpetuates myths about where diseases come from if in fact I do know !!    Most infections are treatable it's just the fact that they can kill is why you should be concerned .  Four or five months ago in Newfoundland there was a 16 year old girl who died from a staph infection related to a simple piercing so call me an alarmist but I would rather inform than sit around and try to have a pissing contest with nk     Please forgive me for having a spelling mistake   Your penis is bigger than mine.    Trevor Written by on 2006-08-20 22:00:42

///////// what the fuck is 'ennui"?    Homemade tattoos make you look fuckin stoopid. They were rad in the old days where grandpa got it as initiation into the motorcycle gang. Now it's just lame - done in the comfort of your suburban kitchen. Written by dumbhipster on 2006-08-21 00:19:40

///////// Re: nevermind    Where do you people get this jaded post-Gen X anti-everything disposition? I have a mobile phone, iPod and tattoos, but I am a man in control of my own destiny, and probably more enlightened than you think you are. If you're going to have an opinion, probably best if you keep it to yourself little fella. Written by Andi on 2006-08-21 02:08:16

///////// somebody call the Waa-mbulance for all these people. i'm going to spend the rest of my day walking around town TRYING to get Hep C. I want it. I want it now! Written by n00b on 2006-08-21 11:36:04

///////// trevor,  your post was alarmist, but I'm not trying to one-up you and I don't have a penis - I have a vagina.  Why lump in Hep A when it's a vastlly different strain from B and C? The chances of contracting Hepatitis A from a sewing needle dipped in ink would be very rare. Hepatitiis A is mostly spread through contaminated food and water, OR close contact with another infected person. So you can't really get it from someone coughing on you, or sitting on a toilet - the chances would also be very very very rare or nil.    Yes. Staph infections can be fatal, especially if left untreated. You defninitely run the risk of any infection when you have any kind of open wound, even in a professional setting, and even a hospital.  Written by nk on 2006-08-21 14:18:19

///////// does anyone else think that this commentary/dialogue is hilarious? Written by andreas on 2006-08-21 15:07:14

///////// i did one, i made the whole walkman deal, but it didnt stay, I dunno if that means the needle was to deep so I bled out the ink or not deep enough so the skin just fell off.    Ill send fecalface the outcome documentation. Written by beartard fooser on 2006-08-21 16:19:07

///////// To Nk   I totally knew you had a vagina. I got off the computer and looked at my wife and said " I know this person has a vagina " and being the man that I am I will say you are right I jumped off topic a bit . Written by on 2006-08-21 21:33:30

///////// andreas, i think we need to get married. we will have loads of fun sharing disease infested stick and poke needles, drinking shellac, and stuffing mice and and and oh what more will come?!    city hall? oh! oh! -we could be married by mike...he is an ordained minister you know...( i mean evewrybody would just feel much better about it.)  totally. ok. sweet. Written by s.anita on 2006-08-21 23:29:00

///////// home made tattoos?  oh come oooon...    Written by kai on 2006-08-22 04:21:33

///////// meh i dont care about the dialogue- i for one don't know a thing about sanitary tattooing and i'm not gonna touch the stuff. I get enough fun from my other artforms to not need to risk my life. hope you guys really dont catch mutated arm influenza. Written by joobah on 2006-08-22 06:06:09

///////// i am currently pressing charges on andreas trolf for stealing all my clients, driving my good chocolate name through the mud, doing donuts on my lawn at 4:17 am and the skywhale tattoo he put on me when i was passed out at a party! not cool doood NOT FRIGGIN COOL! Written by henry lewis on 2006-08-22 22:00:25

///////// "...and best of all nothing shows true fortitude of character quite like learning to live with a bad decision."    amen. Written by you know it on 2006-08-23 00:44:21

///////// damn - ha! I just re-read the Thin Lizzy part. "tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak" has a great riff! I need that record! Written by nk on 2006-08-23 10:05:10

///////// everybody needs a tattoo! If old people tell you not to, do it anyway!!! Written by goober louis on 2006-08-23 12:03:28

///////// If you get one sucky tattoo that's enough. If you get more than one yhat's stupid. Just go to a parlor and get a much better one! The small ones are cheap anyways!  Rock on! Written by Jonas on 2006-08-23 12:16:02

///////// sigh....this is one of the worst ideas ever. boiling doesnt kill germs AT ALL!  and why isnt anyone wearing gloves???   Written by on 2006-08-25 10:06:42

///////// yo y dont ya do a home made tattoo machine i did 1 and it b working nice dont got no probloms with i could do some banging tattoo i b making lots of money Written by lagrimas on 2006-08-25 20:06:13

///////// did any of that water get in yer armpit? Written by on 2006-08-26 01:27:48

///////// hepatitis BCDE and X.     Written by on 2006-08-26 16:23:35

///////// i've done all this shit but with out usung the pencil... so i gues i'll try it wth one! Written by RUFFRYDA on 2006-08-28 14:19:05

///////// my brother looked at this and said "for being art fag guys, they do pretty bad lines." Written by max on 2006-08-29 16:01:10

///////// HEP C!!!! HOW 'BOUT SOME GLOVES! GREAT YOU GOT NEW NEEDLES AND NO F'ING GLOVES YOU RETARDS. CONGRATS YOU ARE ALL PROUD NEW OWNERS OF STDS AND NONE OF YOU EVEN GOT LAID. Written by Tattooer on 2006-08-29 19:01:15

///////// my girlfriend and i did this last night. her heart turned out good, but i cant say the same for my saturn. we'll try again tonight. Written by D!LL on 2006-08-31 09:28:56

///////// wtf Written by on 2006-08-31 11:20:41

///////// So hey... We all get the tattoos and diseases we deseve right? In this day and age... is this home shit really still going on? Cest la vie... Grow up or die tryin.... Written by on 2006-09-01 10:36:19

///////// For all you fuckin bean sprout negligent knee cap cock heads that think your sooooo damn intelligent cause you know all these "facts" about diseases and shit, give a moment to look around and see how over-populated this world is and tell me whats worse, someone "POSSIBLY" catching an infection from having some fun with their friends, (people have different ideas of whats fun remember), or people being too damn cautious with their knoledge and wasting too much time trying to stop humans only predator (disease, infection, etc.), besides ourselves and neglecting that we need every part of this earth to be in balance to carry out life (environment), not more housing for the fuckers that just wont die cause theyre too damn worried about contaminating each-other? Written by on 2006-09-03 15:44:11

///////// Oh and dont bother arguing with me cause your not as intelligent as you think you are so you can fuckin shut your mouths and keep it to yourself and leave your opinions about artist and what they post on the internet to yourselves.  Kay? Thanks!          go "cure" cancer or something for the rest of your life if your gonna whine so damn much fuckin pussy ass bitches! Written by on 2006-09-03 15:46:33

///////// les tattoos sont superbes, style bien old school / home made c'est trop puissant ! Written by fils2pute on 2006-09-06 05:59:03

///////// u hate it or............ Written by marmite on 2006-09-06 13:57:54

///////// Absolutely great guide.    What other kinds of ink can I use? Written by on 2006-09-07 17:07:10

///////// homemade tattoo's make you look like scum. Written by n/a on 2006-09-08 09:41:07

///////// Jesus christ, I think you just redefined the term "scratcher" as if it wasn't bad enough already. This has got to be the most irresponsible fucked up article I've read in a long time. Leave tattooing to the pros Written by VenomInk on 2006-09-08 13:41:24

///////// dude, why everyone in my house gots to be so crafty. mdog sewing outfits in the morning, sdog cooking exotic delights and now adog gots to take it to being CRAFTY too. irritating. i'm all about the lounging. Written by scotty on 2006-09-08 17:50:10

///////// you guys and girl are all gonna end up catching and giving viruses. why not wear gloves thats so fukn' gross everyone looking at this page DONT BE LIKE THEM. THEIR IDIOTS SHOWING THE WRONG WAY. Written by ciskoe redd on 2006-09-10 14:37:20

///////// this IS funny! So....whats the big Damn deal about doing your own small, non-detailed tattoo instead of going to a tattoo shop? i understand harmful health issues, but i guess if i buy a new needle and proper ink, i cant give myself HEP C. besides the people who share tattoo needles without precaution and common sense are probably the same people getting high and having unprotected sex . they have other things to worry about! Written by mR on 2006-09-10 23:20:40

///////// Great article! I've been doing some brainstorming for some possible sequels to this tutorial.    1 - Tattooing your buddies while on acid  2 - DIY breast implants  3 - Slapping your buddy on the ass with a dead fish before inserting it  4 - Topping yourself while still being funny    I don't really care what you stick into each other in the name of art with a capital F. It looks innately stupid and is totally unsexy! The mad cow wanting to marry you deserves one on her forehead... Hopefully this comment will pass through your fucking censorship! Written by Rookie on 2006-09-11 05:37:44

///////// THIS IS WHAT GIVES TATTOOING A BAD NAME. THIS IS PLAIN STUPIDITY. THANKS FOR FUCKING THINGS UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE.      DUMBASSES Written by REAL TATTOO ARTIST on 2006-09-11 20:06:34

///////// instant hep.c application guide.real clever,idiots like you lot give all tattooists a bad name.null Written by west.professional tattooist on 2006-09-12 00:30:39

///////// Ahh, reliving my junior high days when my friends and I tried to give each other homemade tats but failed because we were too pussy to break the skin. We used green food coloring to make them look old school. Written by powdah on 2006-09-12 13:12:56

///////// haha im 14 i read this and had to try it i was suprised it didn't hurt at all :D my tattoo is a crusifix (i thinks that how you spell it) it was fuk i gave my friend one also his isn't as good as mine tho hehe thanks for this whoever wrote it Written by tom on 2006-09-13 13:06:11

///////// Here is a video of a homemade tat...    She does pretty well actually.      http://worldofwonder.net/archives/2006/Sep/13/the_revolution_will_soon_be_televised.wow Written by Madison Pride on 2006-09-13 18:17:09

///////// "hipster is old hat yo"????? Are you fuckin kidding me??!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! What a dufus! Written by on 2006-09-13 19:35:43

///////// This entire commentary was so fucking hillarious. You fuckers had me laughing the whole way through!        I am about to git one on my neck tonight. Just cracked the first Tecate! Cheers big ears! Written by on 2006-09-13 19:46:27

///////// pierce something with a potatoe next ok Written by duke on 2006-09-13 23:05:29

///////// "And lastly, please, take this to heart: THERE ARE NO TRUE NIHILISTS, THEY'VE ALL KILLED THEMSELVES ALREADY.   if you consider yourself suffering unbearable ennui, no point, nihilist-there's-nothing-on-TV etc etc, then kindly bump yourself off already! FUCKSAKES"    So what you saying is, nihilism isn't just a hobby? Written by Dick Head on 2006-09-14 12:12:22

///////// wow.. who knew tattoo artists were such big pussies?   Written by on 2006-09-14 15:35:19

///////// ive been tattooing for a while now and this is the most fuckn stupidest way 2 give some1 a tattoo 1 it sucks ballz 2 cause it looks all fuckn shity and 3 the bitch is a carzy fucker. she shound get CUNT tattoed on her fuckn for head and shove the beer up her as. Written by mad cat on 2006-09-14 20:06:30

///////// ok.... but ONLY IF "rookie" does the "CU" and "mad cat" does the "NT".    i'll wear my wedding dress while you two stand on your soap boxes and shellac poke letters into my forehead.  BUT WAIT!!!! BEFORE ANYONE DOES ANYTHING i will have to email mike straight away to get his ok on this serious serious matter. (as his is clearly the word of god) he and oprah will have to hold my hands durring the process. Written by s.anita on 2006-09-15 11:54:49

///////// You guys are getting less San Francisco and more LA every day.   LAme TOWN Written by palabra on 2006-09-16 22:19:38

///////// what kind of ink can you use i used a parment marker is that ok. Written by alexis vincent on 2006-09-18 09:48:37

///////// fuck you you stupid assholes this is how disease is spread Written by on 2006-09-18 21:00:06

///////// you guys are sick you are the reason tattoo ARTISTS get steriotyped You are going to kill people and you need to stop doing what you are. SICK SICK SICK Written by on 2006-09-19 06:29:13

///////// OMG go get a blood test now.......boiling dosent do anything, your playing with your own life and others apert from your death will be alot slower and very unplesent......you want to tattoo then find a apprentacship and do it safly. Written by Donna on 2006-09-19 10:07:01

///////// wow... i've seen some stupid things in my life, but this may take the cake. doing tattoos in your livingroom is about as smart as doing dentistry in your basement. What is the point in doing something like this... saving money? all it is doing is giving a REAL tattooist more work. I am a tattoo artist. i see this type of shit on a daily basis, and the owners response is always the same, they ALL regret it. this is a retarded article, no-one is wearing gloves, nothing is PROPERLY sterilized, the list goes on.  I'm happy to see so many other people that agree that this is a fucking horrible idea. Those who think this is a good idea, go ahead and get a prison tattoo. You're just putting more money in my pocket.  WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY.WHY...  WOULD ANYONE DO THIS??????????  idiots.  enjoy your new diseases. Written by hopeless on 2006-09-19 11:39:08

///////// Do yourself a favour and stop doin this to your mates - you may end up infecting them with who knows what.  If you wanna tattoo - learn about it first - buy some pro equipment and learn about proper sterilization and BBP before going near anyone.  This is seriously stupid.  BTW - The tattoos look shite anyway -so why bother.  Written by steve on 2006-09-19 12:15:55

///////// hey heres a good thought mix some black and green purple blue eventuly youll have what will appear to be shit brown but after u ink it out its a real shiny mettalic gold Written by on 2006-09-20 17:34:42

///////// Thats awsome. I am 17 and did my first tat in march, a little heart on my leg, and now I am about to do another one. You rock! Written by Sayra on 2006-09-25 17:16:59

/////////   I'm ganna try this.. right now, no lie.      and for some reason, when I read that.. I peed my pants laughing.  your a real funny guy.    make a diy book,  I'd buy it. Written by hannah. on 2006-09-25 19:12:13

///////// just a quick thought: someone has to actually HAVE A DISEASE before it can be spread. when tattooers (the pro kind) wear gloves, it's because they don't know who the fuck they're tattooing and don't want to spread anything around. this is a bunch of people who obviously all know each other very well, thus eliminating paranoia about disease. and besides, new needles and ink were used for each person, so getting worked up about sterilizing something is retarded.   seriously, this isn't what gives tattooing a bad name. this isn't "tattooing," it's satisfying your curiosity and having fun with your friends. tattooing already has a bad name, mostly because of alarmist, uneducated dipshits like all the above "pro tattooers."  get over yourselves. you're all idiots. also, learn how to spell. Written by yay for comments! on 2006-09-27 10:29:30

///////// Yeah, sweet if the tats were any good but they are not, they are wank.....good effort though. ....and is it me, or do some people get, like, all bitchy and that in these comment sections and have kind of, "comment battles" against the subject(s)....hilarious...its fucking great. I want to see more battles!!! Fecal face rocks! Thanks for the inspiration.............."cunt, foreheed, beer up her ass"..... classic!!!!!  Written by labowski on 2006-09-27 16:16:04

///////// wow thats pretty cool because im doing one right now well getting one done its going to say my girl friends name tamara on it so yeah Written by on 2006-09-28 11:00:11

///////// well one of my best friends left so i decided to get her name on me and she a hella close friend to me and i miss her alot and thats who this is for i dedicate this tattoo to tamara i miss u ur always in my heart Written by mandy on 2006-09-28 11:08:13

/////////   aha, well I did it.  a star on my wrist.  except it didnt work out cause I didnt have the exact ink.    but I'm gana try it again.  word.      haha thanks. Written by hannah. on 2006-09-28 19:18:58

///////// OK HOMEMADE TATTOOS ARE A BAD IDEA BUT IF YOU DO DECIDE TO DO IT, DON'T I REPEAT DON'T USE INDIA INK, IT CAN MAKE YOU REALLY SICK!!!!! IT'S BETTER TO JUST AVOID HOMEMADE TATOOS ALL TOGETHER. Written by Tattoo_Lover on 2006-09-29 18:44:24

///////// I absoulutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!!  check out my tattoos I am a neon devil breath  and i think what you are doing is not only funny but it is so rebelious! Written by deborah valentine on 2006-09-30 13:11:11

///////// "homemade tattoo" soo relative, rather be: "amateur tattoo"  because this tecnic it's also used by professionals,   how do you think the "yakuza" get theirs tattoos?  it's an old tradition in japan, and many oders cultures...    ...so ... i sugest you try with 2 or more needles... for the fills and straight lines... also you can buy   some tattoo needles and inks at any tattoo shop...  ...because you can do this seriously ...   ... if you are responsible it's totally safe...    [about the ink, if you'r going to do a little tattoo like the ones  in this tutorial, don't worry about... because it's an insignificant  amount of ink under your skin...]    .... Written by on 2006-09-30 23:57:54

///////// All of you who are fucking complaining about homemade tattoos quit fucking leaving comments here...if u really hate it that much why the fuck are you looking at this site....omfg me and some of my friends got matching tatts and non of us have hep C so fuck all of you douches Written by caleb on 2006-10-02 07:01:05

///////// Fuck yea i´m about to do this Written by TomioIcelandBrowaman on 2006-10-03 11:17:53

///////// What the hell people, every needle out there does NOT have diseases and shit.. use NEW stuff.. &know who youre tattooing! OH HOW DIFFICULT! And they dont look BAD, you just need a smart idea! I support at DIY tattoos cause I know a ton of people with nice ones. People uneducated enough to do this without precautions DESERVE to damn themselves.. so shut the fuck up. Written by LaURINE on 2006-10-03 20:27:02

///////// & Niiiiice fuckin article.. Im gonna go try it. =P Written by LaURINE on 2006-10-03 20:27:55

///////// can u use anything else 4 ink i herd u can use toothpaste and ashes mixed Written by Casey on 2006-10-04 03:08:05

///////// sweet iim soo fuckin trying dat tonight! Written by on 2006-10-04 12:53:29

///////// dumb americans!!  have you never heard of MRSA???  do you know how many Russian prisoners die each year from infected Tattoos???    32,500 Written by Ian Stevenson on 2006-10-05 06:17:39

///////// hey ive heard that u could put really fine crushed up pencil lead with shampoo as ink does it work? Written by jordan on 2006-10-05 14:03:05

///////// first of all if people have no compliments then SHUT THE FUCK UP! im pretty sure these people didnt make this site so everybody could talk shit. if you dont like it leave. seconly where can u get india ink? Written by m.p. on 2006-10-06 10:43:02

///////// What a retard, those are the worst tattoo's I've seen. Written by NYACK on 2006-10-09 03:03:35

///////// sick bra, i tried it worked fine but peeled after a couple of weeks even with moituriser? can you stop this or not.  Written by palmer on 2006-10-09 05:43:42

///////// No wonder tattooing has such a bad image, theres sterility issues, cross contamination and all that to worry aobut, boiling a needle in a pan does absolutely fuck all for sterilizing...DO yall hear me...NOTHING!! as for ink...ill not gt into that, go to a real shop to get inked, thats all im gonna say, if ya do it this way your a god damned fool Written by on 2006-10-09 06:33:12

///////// wow cool! Written by //////// on 2006-10-09 20:43:16

///////// Awesome dude! The pictures and the text were very detailed. I laughed and laughed and remembered receiving my home school tattoo.    Six hours with a life long friend, his new “real” tattoo gun, my living room. Me trusting him to practice his “craft” on me as a canvas.     Some have asked, “Is it real?” Others have said, “Dude, that should have taken 20minutes not six hours.”     Keeping the process clean, sterile, limited needles, and use of multiple colors…I’ve never had regrets    Thank You Norm Simpson wherever you are now    I reckon I’d be hard pressed to find a couple of friends these days that would join in. But now with quick access to the facts, we’ll just have to see!    I would recommend professional tattoos of course, take care of yourself and your friends    Thanks again, peace    Jason  Written by onequintillionth on 2006-10-10 01:39:51

///////// this entire wall is fucking hilarious. thank god for the people who decided to make this stupid page because it's genius. and thank god for all the whiney bitches (on the topic of disease) who made me choke on my yuppie $5 corndog because it tasted just as good on the way up, and besides theres no such thing as fake "fake" meat unless its real meat, which its probably not.     anyway, lesson learned is that if youre gonna make a mistake youd better make it on your own (or have a good friend do it to you) rather than some snazzy tattoo artist who youll have to pay in the end. you can hit yourself afterwards but you cant hit your tattoo artist. and why would you pay an artist to catch your own hard-earned disease?    im lovin it.   Written by bongs away on 2006-10-13 12:24:08

///////// well dudes! good job--- interestingly obvious comments from the neo-con-liberals out there---- no-one can apologize enough for these human flatulants--- and a wreckless endangerment of good free fun and the true spirit of a tattoo!    Keep up the good work and keep givin em shit! Written by lost after left america on 2006-10-13 17:50:33

///////// holy sh** can't believe this method worked...i just put a heart on my waist and it looks freaking awesome...i love you guys...email me a if you get anymore fun this to do when your wasted Written by Jesse on 2006-10-14 22:52:46

///////// I am tring to Become a Tattoo Artist and I have to say there are a ton of Haters out here on the net !     But,I got'a hate on this !   LMAO, let's forget Infection for a second, ok....cause this is some REALY bad art work,lol. Written by Lou Zerr on 2006-10-14 23:51:29

///////// I am offended by the "you're becoming more LA and being less SF" comment because not all LA is like that. Now if you said, "You're becoming more Silverlake and being less SF", then that would be more accurate. I like the How-To. I think dumb tattoos are hilarious, on other people, of course. Written by Lucy on 2006-10-20 16:25:44

///////// that shit is the mad notes, im doin that tonight wit my friends  fuck it i hope i catch hep c you little bitches Written by butt toucher on 2006-10-30 11:56:50

///////// I'm doing my littel gils name. i appreciate all the info. it put me   in the right mind. she is turning 1 to day.by the way she was born hallawean 2005. i also have pro ink done. put i have always whanted to do my one ink work.    Written by brian small on 2006-10-31 12:30:50

///////// if you whant talk back    Written by brian on 2006-10-31 12:32:49

///////// wtf is with the store bought ink? saw off a boot and grate that shit up, mix it with pee and jab it in ur arm..pussies Written by randy rad on 2006-11-01 22:16:22

///////// dude is that low card hat from the zine??? Written by fashion tony on 2006-11-01 22:24:02

///////// sweet bra thats pretty cool seriously Written by butt toucher on 2006-11-02 08:28:33

///////// yeah i sweat the idea and my moms gunna kill me if she sees it but its totaly worth it Written by kayla on 2006-11-05 12:48:47

///////// pretty cool shit! i think evry kid should try it. Written by jayson on 2006-11-06 09:47:36

///////// you people are dumbasses. Written by Charliechopalot on 2006-11-06 21:06:52

///////// how about leaving the tattooing to the professionals and in a sterile enviroment Written by on 2006-11-07 13:34:34

///////// how about not bitching so much and let us kids do wtf we want to? ever thought of that?? huh dickhead? Written by on 2006-11-07 17:44:51

///////// damn ima bout to buy everything i need cause i always wanted to make on of my own Written by hector sillyone on 2006-11-07 23:20:54

///////// scratching is for scuds...i did this when i was a youngster for all my friends...till i became a real tattoo artist and relized how detrimental it was to not only the people your tattooing, but the tattoo comunity as a whole. design and execution wise the tattoos photographed above are dick...even for scratchers, its repulsive how proud you are of your lack of skill and knowledge of the subject...i hope you apologized to the dude who got the sword...lol at the guy with the anarchy symbol, your so edgy...how old are you now 12...be sure to show that off to all your friends with mohawks, scud Written by SQUIDone on 2006-11-08 11:49:42

///////// Leave the tats to the pros. These are really ugly and insignificant. Written by on 2006-11-10 08:41:38

///////// Not too bright...but this planet is full of losers. If you guys catch a disease there's more room in the world for the rest of us. Not a real good example for young folks,but look at the source. Professional tattoing exists for a reason. A concerned tattooist. I sound old. Written by London Bellman on 2006-11-14 03:19:54

///////// HI ANDREAS ;LUSTIGE GESCHICHTE DIE HOFFENTLICH KEINER ERNST NIMMT.MACH WEITER SO. KARL AUS WIEN Written by KARLI BECK on 2006-11-16 04:23:44

///////// you guys are fucking stupid its jackass retards like you that give this industry a bad name your not trained and your not artists Written by true artist on 2006-11-19 14:50:13

///////// it's "you are" or "you're" -not "your"....    true artist, aka: uneducated fuck. Written by on 2006-11-19 17:40:58

///////// What I liked most about the homemade tatts was the fact that you guys reused the needles from the crucification of the mouse savior turned stuffed hacky sac. And since people are concerned about sterilized needles, you should show the right sterilization technique with a pressure cooker. Afterwards, you can retrofit it into a still to make your own booze to forget all the vile comments.....By the way, I have to say that the tetrahedron tatt was weak. It should have been a trigonal-bipyramidal all the way. But that's just me. Written by happymonkeytears on 2006-11-20 01:38:29

///////// lets korrect grammer and sperring on a message board cuz were witty and have free time Written by SQUIDone on 2006-11-21 09:00:00

///////// its about the experience. Written by james on 2006-11-21 09:09:38

///////// I got a homemade tattoo...i got 2 of them. one that says Fate cause my friend passed away and she always said Fate and i got an Anarchy sign on my wrist Written by I got a homemade on 2006-11-21 10:40:55

///////// fuck mines a triangle and it says heroin. too much cheap alcohol. Written by poop ass on 2006-11-23 01:00:00

///////// where do you buy the ink at?? i cant find it anywhere Written by billy joe on 2006-11-24 10:30:06

///////// I have too much time on my hands Written by Rat on 2006-11-24 11:01:36

///////// woooo  Written by inferno the devils se on 2006-11-25 01:07:34

///////// wow finaly a tatoo that worked for ages iv been cutting myself open and fillin it wiv ink, any ink i could find really, biro ink, paint, fountin pen, permanent marker. inlessons id sit there with a razor blade cut myself open and fill it wiv ink then id try wiv a pin c if that made any difference. so thank u. for that stupid lil smily face on my leg that took me so long.  Written by dean on 2006-11-25 01:16:56

///////// The Yakuza does do it this way. There's nothing wrong with diy tattoos. Personally, i'd feel a whole lot safer getting tattooed by a close friend (or myself) than the guy from the tattoo shop, who I don't even know might have hep C.    Plus, I think all the pro tattooists commenting are just all scared of selling-out. Before it was an industry, it was an artform. Before tattoo guns, there were homemade needles. Learn your history.     About the tattoos looking like shit, I do agree. But in this case, its all about the experience. Written by on 2006-11-26 04:37:18

///////// fuckin stupids, what a fuck , they wanna die Written by on 2006-11-26 10:58:36

///////// Homemade tattoos are what made(kes) me a MAN-   I usta have a shirt that said "BUTTSPREAD" (lightgrey letters on navy blue shirt) I would show people my "w.O.W" tattoo on my neck and tell them that I had genital herpes and claumidia, and then yell out, "BUTTSPREAD!! AHHH!!!" and then I signed up for an ARTTAXES seminar and figured out that i was fucked/ Written by JAH on 2006-11-27 09:18:28

///////// You bunch of dumb pussy fucks *They used new needles and ink on each person stupid asses. Don't see any open cuts on their hands niether. Do you??? Go fuck yourselves! Your just to pussy to do it. Hep is transfered by blood born illness if no blood is near the equipment where does it come from then? Written by Someone Smarter than U Fukz on 2006-11-28 21:59:07

///////// straight up loosers Written by on 2006-11-30 16:04:49

///////// I am a professional tattooist and i think this is apauling. You have not only made a mockery of MY RESPECTED PROFESSION you have put your friends and countless strangers at risk. I set up a clean shop and even tho you provide information about blood bourne pathogens, if you REALLY knew how hep c was soooooo easily contracted, youd be very afraid to do this at home. Not to mention how you can damage the skin? Intruducing pyrogens are at the very least a way to promote infections. wow im so shocked you would even think this was a good idea to actually show to public how stupid you really are. All scratchers must have their fingers cut off. Definition of a scratcher........a non professional tattooist who holds no respect for his/her client but being as informed and as SAFE as possible. You rank straight up there with greedy sons of bitches who have no freeking clue what tattooing is about. Dont quit your day jobs people , cause i know you suck at those jobs too. Very nasty work btw. I cover those types of tattoos DAILY, you make me sick. Written by catra on 2006-11-30 18:36:27

///////// Did you learn from chris crinkle? I hear he's the shit!    -xevious- Written by xevious on 2006-12-01 02:17:19

///////// The Yakuza does do it this way. There's nothing wrong with diy tattoos. Personally, i'd feel a whole lot safer getting tattooed by a close friend (or myself) than the guy from the tattoo shop, who I don't even know might have hep C.     Plus, I think all the pro tattooists commenting are just all scared of selling-out. Before it was an industry, it was an artform. Before tattoo guns, there were homemade needles. Learn your history.     About the tattoos looking like shit, I do agree. But in this case, its all about the experience.     How the hell would i be "selling out" by hating how stupid people are? You can contract hep c from a paper cut, the blood can be dried and up to 45 days old on mostly any surface. where are the gloves?????? stupid people. as for you .......it still is an artform, and there is a reason no one uses the old school ways.. cause people died and it is now being prevented So the artform can be continued, get your fucking history straight.   another thing you thing tattooists have hep c? your so misinformed .. oh yeah cause people post stupid shit like this on the internet. asking questions in a shop , getting to know the artists, and doing your research would prove that you can find a welcoming, disease/drug free environment to be tattooed in. Support of scratchers is just as bad as being one. Written by on 2006-12-01 10:41:11

///////// This is ridiculous.. I cant believe people are standing up for this crap.. I mean I believe it is everyones right to do whatever they want to themselves.. dont get me wrong. but, when you teach and glorify this type of irresponsible behavior to the public.. you should be held liable.    Also to the person that said "before there were guns there were homemade needles".. that is true.. but, before there was aspirin there was bloodletting.. do we still do bloodletting.. no. why?.. because we figured out that it was stupid. People used to die from infections being tattooed that way.. more often than you think.    although these people used new needles on each person, they did use the same bottle of ink.. effectively making it a cespool of pathogens.. wise up.. heps c is a bloodbourne pathogen yes.. can you be 100% sure none of your friends have it.. no... and then theres always MRSP, and other types of staph bacteria which can jeopardize you health every bit as much, and be a much faster way to die.    being a tattoo artist.. if someone really wanted me to handpoke a tattoo for them .. i'd do it.. but i'd make damn well sure that i was following proper aseptic techniques.. which is the real issue here.    Moral of the story: just because you saw it online.. doesnt mean it is a good idea. be responsible.. if you want a tattoo go to a professional.    If you needed to have a root canal.. would you let your friend do it?.. same thing really. Written by Someone smarter than someone s on 2006-12-01 11:13:12

///////// ahahah so im fifteen  and i gave myself a tattoo with this last night....  AND IT WORKED.    so today i gave my friend a tattoo in our schools dark room,  AND IT WORKED.    thank you. Written by love you all on 2006-12-01 20:11:33

///////// listen i couldnt give a shit if you guys wanna hand poke tattoos on youreselves or not but the thing is that they fucking horrible learn to draw first...oh yeah and that dagger would have scabbed up bad too id be supprised if any ink was left after it healed. Written by bAfL on 2006-12-02 04:11:18

///////// Your an idiot, and this is just the type of thing that makes people who tattoo for a living want to beat you to a pulp. Written by yimmy on 2006-12-02 15:26:32

///////// ur a fuckin retard i hope u all catch hep and die, or maybe theres a biker club around that will get angry ur movin in on there turf and do everyone a favor and putting a stop to this bullshit Written by tattoo artist on 2006-12-02 19:12:50

///////// You guys are total morons that know NOTHING about the subject you have just posted a stupid 'how to' article on. I can't wait for someone to get very ill and SUE your stupid asses off for putting that up. It' is TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.    But wait, you're probably also the kind of assholes that publish the directions on how to make a bomb out of shit you can find in your kitchen. Written by Bunnie on 2006-12-02 20:36:10

///////// I wanna make a bomb! Fecal Face, do a how to on that. I wanna throw it at Bunnie above. Written by Sarah on 2006-12-02 20:48:30

///////// There really isn't any logical reason to be opposed to home tattooing.  If everyone ends up with Hepatitus C, then what does Hepatitus C have on us?  Nothing.  That's right folks.  NOTHING. Written by Gene Honda on 2006-12-02 22:42:21

///////// im a tattoo artisrt and I will now refuse to tattoo anyone with one of those shit tattoos! i know how contagious hep is but I didnt know you could catch stupid! all tattooers should refuse to tattoo all people who scratch others! Written by on 2006-12-03 09:19:08

///////// maybe best not to post things like this mate, if your going to do it then whatever, but promoting it is very stupid. Oh well too much smack will do that to people. Good luck with getting clean in the future. Written by vegas on 2006-12-03 12:33:45

///////// Stupid. Irresponsible. Fucking retarded.    That about sums it up... boil needles in water? why? To kill germs, don't bother. That does nothing. The smartest thing you can do is put the needle down and stop giving your friends diseases.    What dicks. Written by A Real Tattoo Artist on 2006-12-03 14:09:16

///////// i just skipped the fuck ahead after reading half of these comments. i noticed a hell of a lot of insults being thrown around. insults on andreas' artwork, saying he's not an artist, leave it to the professionals, etc. first off, none of you scumbags even know who andreas is, obviously.. he is a fucking artist, dipshits. AND creative as all hell. secondly, if you think the tats are "crappy," bear in mind that there was a case of beer being had during the time and the tats weren't for the sake of holy ART, but for fun. something these p-u-s-s-y pro's are so touchy about. "wah wah wah you're giving us a bad name! don't do it at home! do it in a shop..." ie, "give ME your money!" spare me. hell yea, look into proper sterilization but don't take the fun out of being with friends and having a fun time doing shit you'll never forget. i'm not inked. i'm not pierced.. and i personally don't give a shit to be.. but i won't sit around acting holier-than-thou about it. let people be. educate but don't be a critical, fascist about it. the article is funny. if you don't get that than you're a proper idiot. the only thing i worry about is little kids reading this, thinking it's "cool" and then fucking around and hurting themselves.. but then they have parents who should be guiding what websites they're on. ALSO, what douchebag was dissing the girl who got the tat? that's just low class.. what does she have anything to do with you and your fucking gay profession? "i'm an artist!" no shit dickweed.. we all are.. of our own accord and style. what does that have anything to do with an innocent girl getting tattooed? stop hating. "liberal" fascists. haha! let it be.. and let it bleed. nice choice, mandreas. peace. Written by who cares on 2006-12-05 08:45:06

///////// that is so punk  Written by on 2006-12-06 10:52:09

///////// DIY, but do it safely.    ~ Jason  www.ink-trails.com Written by Jason on 2006-12-07 10:14:25

///////// I read this article listening to Hawkwind. I've been doing a diamond myself lately while watching movies. My friend Brian has Dixie above his crotch, a train around his wrist, the Specials' ska guy on his breast, and lot of other shit. Maybe it was the Hawkwind but I thought this was a good how to on self-tattooing. Tuff-Town up and down, all around. Written by Wesley on 2006-12-07 12:29:29

///////// what absolute bullshit. boiling doesn't do any good against hepatitis, and if you use the same ink, whats the point of trying to steralize the needle? those tattoos suck, looks like a twelve year old's been drawing on them with an ink pen. woo hoo, saved fifty bucks, who cares about possibly terminal illnesses? Bullshit. I went to a real artist, spent a bit of money, got REAL art, no worries about diseases, and don't look like a stupid dipshit. No real artist tattoos drunk with a pencil and sewing needle. this is for LIFE, isn't that worth fifty, a hundred, two hundred bucks? Dumbasses Written by b on 2006-12-08 08:13:22

///////// it is always nice when people with no idea about something just trying....no matter what stupid shit turns out........and sometimes something really interesting   but it is really stupid you know tell your -i ve been so brave when i was 11 years old tattooing myself- stories    artsy scene is sooooo brave and tatoo is sooo new for them pui Written by on 2006-12-12 08:02:40

///////// message to "pro tatooers"  fuck off and quit actin like theyre doin a heart opperation. think about what theyre doing- coloring a fukin pic on their skin. you dont need 4 year college to draw on people for a living. stop callin yourselves pros and get a real job Written by fu on 2006-12-12 21:47:52

///////// this is pretty funny  it's interesting  it's entertaining  it's people having a laugh  chill out  you watch shows like jackass and dont care  this is less dumb than that shit  the tattoo designs are pretty funny/cool  entertaining post  keep it up Written by nice post on 2006-12-13 22:28:24

///////// thanks for making tattooing look extra bad!! Morons Written by on 2006-12-14 14:16:01

///////// this is for LIFE, isn't that worth fifty, a hundred, two hundred bucks? Dumbasses    ^^ You take life too seriously, live a little. Written by Ydyd of Canada on 2006-12-15 09:23:10

///////// I have a homemade tat on my hand (only tattoo on me) that I did about 25 years ago using a needle wrapped with thread near the tip to hold the India ink while I poked myself for an hour. I can honestly say it has provided me with nothing but joy all these years. Luckily I rocked a dope handstyle even back then.    Now I'm all gown up, and I do mean ALL....and all is well with me and my homemade tat. Ignore the toy tattoo artists who get all butthurt because somebody did it themselves. That's not how the vets roll. Written by 25 Years of Commitment. on 2006-12-15 11:17:08

///////// You do realize of course that by promoting *homemade* tattooing you are not only putting yourself & your "friends" at risk for numerous diseases. (which are deadly by the way) but are promoting mutilation, right?     You may as well be shooting one another up with heroin. Never mind the fact that aftercare isn't addressed and can result in severe infection, loss of limbs & death. But hey, obviously responsibility isn't really a priority here, or cool for that matter... now is it?     Boiling needles on a filthy stove is supposed to protect you from blood pathogens? You are honestly teaching people to do this? Tattooing is not a temporary thing! You can NOT just erase it. (for those who just said "yeah you can.. laser removal.. duh!" Let me just retort by saying... "Laser removal isn't a one time thing & it hurts worse than chopping your finger off! Oh, and by the way it is very expensive!" And well, no offense.. but if you are subjecting yourself to homemade tattooing.. you aren't exactly concerned with nor willing to spend the extra buck on quality treatment anyway") Tattoos are life long commitment! Never once was that mentioned in your "lesson". What? no need to mention that? Let me guess.. its common knowledge? Well, lets think about it for a moment.. considering the content.. considering the lesson being taught.. something tells me.. common sense apparently isn't being practiced here at all!     I am honestly shocked by the sheer ignorance! You are showing a great deal of disrespect to all of the men and women tattooists who have spent years of their lives apprenticing & studying the craft in order to learn the necessary lessons & skill required to even attempt to tattoo another person! Which I find rather interesting since it is obvious in your photos that you've undergone more than a few hours of professional tattoo work. Why?     It saddens me that a website so dedicated to promotion of artists who truly posses talent & skill would be so irresponsible & even cruel to their own by degrading a profession where being an artist isn't just about the ability to draw or paint.     Children, I BEG you.. do NOT do this at home! This is NOT cool! It is DANGEROUS! Do NOT allow your friends, family, acquaintances or even your enemy to do this to themselves! This practice, although common is NOT safe.. nor is it ART! It is irresponsible & a mockery to the art tattooing! If you have already done this.. or know someone who has.. PLEASE seek appropriate medical care!     For those of you who want a tattoo so badly and are willing to put your life on the line for one... THINK! If you want a tattoo so badly... go to a professional!!! professional tattoo artists are not only concerned with giving you the quality of tattoo you deserve.. but also assure a safe & clean environment in which you can enjoy the experience. Remember, aftercare is crucial to any procedure in which a wound is created! Use extreme caution when dealing with exposure to blood! If you are unsure of what to do... contact a local licensed studio or your local health department. If you see ANY signs of infection.. seek medical treatment immediately!!! You CAN die!!!   Written by Infuriated on 2006-12-15 11:51:39

///////// dear "infuriated,"  we should hang out sometime and talk about life. you've obviously got a lot of pent up aggression. we can hug it out. hugs are for life! for liiiffe!  also, if you think this article is "cruel" as you stated above, just wait until we post the photos from our how-to on child abuse!  sincerely, Written by andreas on 2006-12-15 20:06:51

///////// dumb americans!!   have you never heard of MRSA???   do you know how many Russian prisoners die each year from infected Tattoos???   ___________    ah, but they lack the clean needles and so forth...  not to mention they use URINE and soot to make the ink. Written by luciano on 2006-12-15 21:15:06

///////// I already wrote a How to Shoot Junk and Mark Yourself For Life by Wrapping Thread Around the End of Your Rig article....BITERS!    Jesus, "Infuriated" where is your sense of humor, don't you give the readers of this site a little credit for intelligence? Can you really be Infuriated by this when the planet is boiling to death while relirious wars rage? I mean c'mon now. An infection would be a holiday for 50% of this earth's people. Written by on 2006-12-15 21:59:24

///////// marry me Written by Brownsville Girl on 2006-12-16 01:36:35

///////// ???????An infection would be a holiday for 50% of this earth's people........  oh yes so tattoo yourself for a better world !!! hahahahahhaha    and what would you say if i show up my first ugly graffitties without any style and worth - here? would you think it s cool or just try-out bullshit not worth posting?   no wonder any pro and much money earning tatooer is laughing at you......but of course no reason to quit trying...but a reason to stop bullshitting here cause not any worth informations (i fucking do not care of any of yours selfmade when i was 13 years old stories)   Written by on 2006-12-16 05:03:13

///////// Actually, I like bad graffiti more than candyass pro tecno wildstyle burners. Written by on 2006-12-17 09:46:24

/////////     think about how many people on this earth have unprotected sex knowing full well that they may be giving some kind of STD to their partner, or receiving one. go spread the gospel of safe sex and contraception before you preach to the choir about needle safety and try a little perspective for once. Written by on 2006-12-17 13:55:19

///////// ////////////  all you people just coming on this site and preaching about safety and dideases tahnk you but whats stupid is the 200 people writing about the same stupid shit for 10 pages. its our choice to do this or not so get off our backs and fuck off Written by on 2006-12-18 19:18:40

///////// I have a fucking opinion, and because it is my opinion I think it is the fucking right opinion and every other shit is fucking wrong and my opinion just keeps getting more and more relevant the more fucking expletives I use to fucking express my opinion, bitch-ass cum dumps! My fucking opinion is so fucking important to the fucking world that I am going to post it in the comment section of this fucking article and everyone is going to flock here and read it, such is the power of my fucking opinion. Fuck. Written by joshuasbones on 2006-12-18 19:59:22

///////// great, great, great, great, great, great,great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Written by jimmy pistole on 2006-12-22 12:12:11

///////// I tied to tattoo my eyelids last night but i kept jabbing the needle through the skin   long story short my docter had to remove it  if any one has any ideas how to tattoo my other eye please post it   thanks Written by on 2006-12-22 20:25:15

///////// the comments are better than the article. Written by who cares? on 2006-12-23 14:31:43

///////// This should be a joke, but it isn't.Idiots are always going to tattoo themselves, so why not laugh at them? I do so every week in the tattoo studio where I work as a tattoo artist. Often the people who get indian ink crap on them are the sort that originally go 'How fucking much?' when quoted a tattoo price, but soon come to the realisation that this shit isn't easy or cheap when done properly.    On the plus side, this stuff earns me some good money, and is relatively easy to cover up, so the customer has a little more scope in what they can have done over this rubbish. I live in the South Wales valleys, where most of the dead-heads are covered in home made atrocities, so I see more examples than most people. These 'tattoos' ARE funny. To me, anyway, with my professionally tattooed full body suit. I am pretty smug at that fact, I'll admit. Just not funny to the stupid cunt who's realised he's ruined his skin while he was pissed, and has to pay a guy like me to get rid of it, while I ridicule him along the way! Fucking great! hahahahahahahahahaha etc... Written by seantattoo on 2006-12-30 19:52:13

///////// I think that is great. More proof that you ALWAYS get the tattoo and in this case possible desiese you deserve. Thin the herd fuckers. Thin the herd. Written by Sean E Bones on 2007-01-01 16:46:40

///////// our society is germaphobic. *shrug*   i did this last night and I'm very happy with how it turned out. I don't think it's a big deal at all, I'm sorry about all these people screaming their heads off about responsibility and disease and nihilism (how did that come into play, again?).   I'm sure you feel the same, don't worry, man.  the best are the people who have a sense of humor about it all haha    thanks for giving me the inspiration and information to give myself the tiny little things I wanted I would never had gotten anything unless I could do it myself, and lo and behold I can.    A+ Written by jenmussari on 2007-01-02 14:37:42

///////// those tattoos suck cause they have nothing to do with satan, black metal, hell or frost, and ink? ever heard of goats blood? using that india ink shit is weak, live by the sword die by the sword, niggas know kniggas know.     i dont doodle, yes you do doodle. Written by logan on 2007-01-02 18:18:50

///////// some people are fucked up..i think everyone in the world has heard of hep n your just wasting your time trying to inform everyone here bout it further...    obviously no one is goingto listen to you and its not going to stop them fucking getin a homemade..    and the point of homemades is so you can do wat the fuck you want so if you want a full pro one then go to a fucking pro dipshits    doing homemades are fun and this how toi was made for those ppl that just want to fucking do somethin themselves wether ther bored or fuck..    FUCK OFF N LET PPL DO WHAT TEHY FUCKING WANT....THEY FUCKING WILL ANYWAY.. Written by jac on 2007-01-03 00:07:35

///////// aww crap i cant seem to find my needles Written by andy on 2007-01-04 03:35:15

///////// Lol damn man I already had quite a knowledge of home tattooing, but having just consumed a good 2 pints of beam to the face I think i NEed a guideline... well, here I go. Where the hell do I send the pic? I'm finna use pen ink too... I suppose I am too drunk to even care... and why the fuck would you ghetto-too your eyelid???? Written by Brett C on 2007-01-04 14:27:13

///////// I just did a big ass green S on my left arm, for no reason whatsoever. Maybe it coulda said Sublime, I'll prolly get drunker and make it into something... Anybody want a pic or is the contest still open or what cuz if it is I'ma turn it into somethin sweet.. where I send it? Written by Brett on 2007-01-04 15:41:15

///////// Dawg this shit is awesome. and all them kids there sayin its all gay and whatever its like well y da fuk r u here then? watever i think its kool! Written by Sarah Anne on 2007-01-05 19:04:58

///////// i have a hommade tatto those shits are cool im geting one on my lower back mines came out nice yas came out shity ya need more pratice serously bx all day Written by melissa on 2007-01-06 19:54:23

///////// there is no such thing as a decent homemade tattoo  Written by on 2007-01-07 03:14:31

///////// i dnt get wen to put the ink on the thread? plz cud u explain Written by Georgey T on 2007-01-07 15:57:25

///////// You might as well use the tattoos that come in the bubble gum wrappers because they look 100 times better then those lame home-made tattoos. Go to a real tattoo parlor and get it done by a professional. Written by Lametards on 2007-01-09 04:12:49

///////// Man.. I am so fucking sick of the professionals and pussies telling us to go to a shop, that's bullshit. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS PAGE, GET THE FUCK OFF OF IT. Nobody's half-assed opinions and morally inclined suggestions are going to stop ANYBODY from doing something they want to do. How did 90% of the people looking to ink themselves get here? Well, let's see. Googling diy tattoos, maybe? Does that not in itself express genuine interest in going through with this? Enough that NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ANYBODY. Get the fuck over it. I did a big ass purple peace sign and a green heart and they are going to stay. If you have enough balls to DO IT RIGHT, then it won't be so fucking bad. And no shit if you want a professional tattoo you get it done PROFESSIONALLY. But let kids have fun, and go fuck yourself if you don't see it my way. Why? Because getting drunk and baked and tattooing yourself is fun............. And most of these kids will be doing themselves alone, one needle. And otherwise USE SEPERATE NEEDLES AND STERLIZE TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. Autoclave or no it is still in your best interest to be safe. Otherwise just have fuckin fun man, and fuck the critics and the momma's boys... ART IS SELF EXPRESSION. Point fucking blank. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF, JUST DO IT. murderpastmidnight@hotmail.    Ya dig? Lol. Written by Brett on 2007-01-10 13:49:56

///////// If you guys think that the people doing this are such dumb asses.....then why do you care if they catch something....    NATURAL SELECTION  Maybe the dipshits dumb enough to be unsafe deserve to die, so they don't spread their seed and bother all the assholes like you, who feel the need to stick your heads into some shit that obviously doesn't concern you sence your not going to do it.    It's their fucking choice. Written by Me on 2007-01-14 12:54:21

///////// I just did this! Thanks for the tips! It worked much better than my other home done tattoos!!!!! Thanks a bunch! Mucho Love! Written by Sammy on 2007-01-15 00:27:57

///////// jesse edwards i know who you are aussie pride home made are the only way to go great article it has improved my hygine alot Written by mitch reid on 2007-01-15 21:36:42

///////// dude, does it sting? I tried to do a homemade tattoo a long time ago and it stung the shit out of me does this at all? damnit, now I'm addicted to tattoos! I got one not too long ago and I am TOTALLY probably going to do this now Written by on 2007-01-16 17:51:10

///////// muito bom!!!!! words from Brazil!!! Written by paula on 2007-01-17 04:00:28

///////// hey i just got homeade tat and i did it using a remote control car motor and a pen and a needle and a couple other things it turned out pretty phat Written by Jaquicha on 2007-01-17 15:09:13

///////// haha. people on this thread are blowing loads in each others faces.  looks like we found a topic that really riles up the illiterates.   Written by s.s. vagtown on 2007-01-19 00:23:08

///////// Dude I'm doing that after i get layed again!!!!!  Rock on!!!! Written by Jonathon Paxton on 2007-01-19 09:26:05

///////// haha, funny comments.      fools. Written by meee on 2007-01-20 19:38:59

///////// this is fuckin sick!!im gunna butcher my leg with skulls!!!! Written by dylan coulthard on 2007-01-21 12:06:50

///////// I love how everyone is battling over this.     seriously. Stop trying to persuade people not to do it.     it doesn't work.   sure. there's chances of getting Hep C.   Didn't you notice the word, chances?  if people want to try it, try it, whatever. Written by LittleMissCuntagious on 2007-01-21 21:52:14

///////// haha these comments fucking slay  didn't you busted ass whiney mother fuckers get hep shots in grade 4?  home made tattoos are fine as long as you're not some poor ass american with no health coverage  haha and making fun of bro tattoos like seriously lighten up. you're not going to be the one getting deseases so just stop your bitchin. worry about yourself. Written by on 2007-01-22 06:01:05

///////// Ha, this is all great fun. I love the arguements over all this. I actually had a really bad case of MRSA a year ago. I almost lost my life, and was even closer to losing me leg. I didn't contract it from a homemade tattoo, though. My doctor at the time told me that around 90 percent of all people who work in hospitals carry MRSA. As for DIY tattoos, I say go for it. Seems fun. I'd get one, but I'm not too sure what I'd get one of. Also, for the people who seem hell bent on trashing the home-tatooers lighten up a bit. All this anger would be better applied to like child molesters and rapists. Have fun!! Oh yeah If I ever do one of these on myself, I'll be sure to get on here and let you all know whether or not I've contracted some sort of flesh-eating disease. Written by zack r. on 2007-01-25 21:59:55

///////// We do what we want, that's how it should be. I would suggest not using plastic inks, like acrylic. India ink is fine, it is what has been used for years although there are newer, better inks, india ink is tried and tested. Acrylic is plastic, think about it.    Sincerely, your local tattoo artist Written by professor g on 2007-01-29 13:47:43

///////// were can i get different colors to tattoo with Written by on 2007-01-29 14:48:07

///////// just want to say fuck all of the negative comments  and what an awesome article about home made tatts...  way to go true inspiration... Written by emanuel on 2007-01-30 18:03:59

///////// I cant believe nobody has realised the guy who has written the guide is taking the piss the whole way thru. Comments like "Draw up a few pages of bad ideas. A good rule of thumb for homemade tattoos is that if everyone in the room laughs at the drawing, someone should probalby get it. "Lol yeh draw a picture and if people in a room laugh get it put on you body for life . Some ppl might not say life but go to a site showing tattoo removals for some er enlightenment ."Doesn't it feel good to accomplish something? Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for seeing something through all the way to the end. You've always been a great disappointment to your mother and me, but this time you've really made us proud! " I mean that comment is so sarcastic and condescending - im gonna go an give my girlfriend a nose job with some plyers ,a bulldog clip and a quart of vodka  Written by fools on 2007-02-01 08:25:23

///////// Someone said something about how before there were tattoo machines, everyone did it this way.     Well yeah, people have been tattooing themselves with varying degrees of skill for thousands of years. People also used to keep slaves and beating wives was accepted. That doesn't make it okay.     I'm personally glad people are doing this, disease will kill off the dumb people that do this. Written by Corey on 2007-02-01 11:10:31

///////// nice work the dagger looks nice as    p.s. burning the needle with a lighter actually makes it worse, it puts carbon all over it, best is ur boiling water method, that or a preassuer cooker. and beer thins ur blood Written by on 2007-02-02 14:54:13

///////// so i definatly did this to my roommate, crazy jim.    needless to say, it turned out like shit. i laughed. he got pissed. i went to sleep.        thanks a million for the night of fun, i hope he doesn't get hepatitis. haha.    Written by greggandy on 2007-03-19 22:24:12

///////// You're a god. I've been spending the last several nights looking for how to do this and you did that amazingly well. thanks a shitload. Written by Gimvaainl on 2007-04-04 20:05:27

///////// thankyou soooo much.  you just made my summer  (and my friends...)  do you like them?     Written by xolydiat on 2007-07-17 16:23:18

///////// oh didnt show the pics up  http://s189.photobucket.com/albums/z288/xolydiat/?action=view&current=Photo33.jpg  and http://s189.photobucket.com/albums/z288/xolydiat/?action=view&current=Photo38.jpg  xx Written by xolydiat on 2007-07-17 16:29:22

///////// WTF    How could nobody want the Herpes Heart???!!  howwwwwwwww Written by saphi on 2007-07-21 13:54:08

///////// we made a "gun" with a toothbrush and the motor from a videocamera, then my friend tattooed a heart on the tip of his ding dong. My other friend got a smiley face on his knee cap. don't be scared to die. Written by figgymoses on 2007-08-28 18:28:55

///////// so im 15 and i def. tried out this "method" 2 days ago and i now have a tinyyy heart on my left wrist. but im starting to get worried cause it hurts and is kind of red around the area. and i used ink from a ink pen instead of that bottled ink. im also using neosporin on it every morning and every night. my mom still doesnt know. i dont know how im going to keep it from her besides using braclets. if she finds out she'll probably make me go get a tetnis shot and all kinds of stupid shit. and she'll probably kick me out of the house. lamee. i took a pic but its veryy bad quality ..      Written by lolie92 on 2007-08-31 11:50:35

///////// http://s112.photobucket.com/albums/n179/xxt1053/?action=view&current=Picture679.jpg Written by lolie92 on 2007-08-31 11:52:58

///////// homemade tattoos are apparently equivalent to beating your wife!    um, people aren't stupid. and if they are, they get what they deserve.     just because you don't want a tattoo or aren't artistic doesn't mean that homemade tattoos are a bad things. i mean, unless you want a proper catholic funeral or something. seriously. like you going to the parlor and paying $300+ for some stupid flash art shit is any better!    artists like to draw. when they love each other, they draw on each other!    you're all just jealous.    oh, and if you don't want a disease, take proper procedures. duh.    having a tattoo doesn't make you a hipster. but giving people shit just makes you a preachy asshole!    i'm getting a homemade today, and i'm disease free. it can't be true! Written by abstractmotor on 2007-09-10 14:21:42

///////// i agree, these comments are more entertaining then the article itself. Written by LaValseDsuzy on 2007-09-20 20:26:41

///////// ahhh diy tats. what memories....    crust points, peace signs and anarchy flowers.     and no hep c here! Written by wednesday on 2007-10-29 15:58:15

///////// Hey that is like when i was 13 and it was almoust impossible to get to a tattoo shop for the age,so my and my pals moust of us into the punk,beers get tattooed,in that time nobody got sick or anything so for me is funny and negligent in the way to see doing this hand made tattoos now been so many good artist,also a lot of old school tattooist did they same thing back in the day now tattooing is to me a dicipline with profecional atributes,so in my opinion let them do what they wanna do,is a free world is it????? Written by nihil666df on 2007-11-06 11:10:31

///////// Ya know, women manhandle tampons every day...pulling them out of crusty purse compartments, letting them gather fuzz at the bottom of their bags...and don't think twice about chillin' in the public restroom with them. I'm just sayin'...the world is a scary place. Do what you will. Written by clarissa on 2007-11-18 13:40:34

///////// I'm pretty sure this is how terrorists get tattooed. pffft.. way to support Al Qaeda. Written by bmbfktry on 2007-12-05 15:23:56

///////// to all u bashers iv been a pro tattoo artist for 8 years i have 26 tattoos and 24 of them are home made iv used this method and lots of others if u know what ur doing ur fine whats the point of coming to some ones site who worked hard on a how to for ppl who want to know and bash what they said what sence dose that make? really people can do what they want .almost all pro tattoo artist i know started like this  Great job on the page it looks great Written by Havoc on 2007-12-11 17:23:05

///////// i'm making one.. angry bastards with no lives stop hating. no one said you had to get one. Written by tiff_sniff on 2008-01-10 18:33:18

///////// The comments left here amused me. In theory, there's nothing wrong with the techniques described here. I would have worn gloves, personally, not drank through it (messes with your blood, allegedly), and not had loads of people around me. But, hey, that's just me.    I plan to try this, but I'll do a bit more research before I take the plunge.    And for all the 'professional tattoo artists' posting, spouting shit: how did you learn how to tattoo? Probably a variation on this method, albeit in more controlled circumstances. And, it has occurred to me that tattooists only discourage DIY tattoos because they love their money too much. I'll happily pay a good sum of money for a really good tattoo (my right forearm is pretty much covered), but some artists are churning out mediocre work for prices that are far too high.    I think I'll stop here because this is in danger of turning into an essay. Written by fjx on 2008-01-19 15:26:22

///////// THIS RULES! thanks for posting :D the how-to's are seriously getting better and better. the sense of humor is genius.    the comments on the otherhand... not so much.  calm down people. its all in good fun. Written by Luuser111 on 2008-02-01 17:51:35

///////// this is hilarious! you guys should do a step-by-step on huffing paint next....that would be sick! Written by redletter1 on 2008-02-18 15:05:32

///////// This was monumentally fuck-witted and irresponsible.    I noticed your friend with the camera, so I suppose this will wind up on YouTube along with the idiot who tried to remove his tattoo with a sander.    I laughed at him too. Written by delilah on 2008-04-15 22:33:32

///////// Jesus Fucking Christ. If you're all so worried about getting various illnesses then don't do it! Someone makes a tutorial on the internet and that automatically means everyone has to do take it up?    I did it by myself over a year ago after reading this and I'm plenty alive. No diseases (yes I've been tested quite thoroughly) and no deadly infections.  Do I think people should get together, get drunk and tattoo each other? No. All the whiny cunts on here need to calm the fuck down. You'd think they made a tutorial on how to shoot up and have bareback sex with anonymous partners. Trust me...you've done yourself more harm going home with that skank you met at the bar the other night than you will doing a homemade tattoo on yourself. Written by BambooStalker on 2008-04-28 19:31:19

///////// The first blog-type thing I check out on this site, and I run smack into THIS comment thread.     Obviously there are some extra highbrow types who like intellectual debate over here. I will most certainly return. Written by MissusTufnel on 2008-05-03 21:43:59

///////// Thanks for this How To. Looks like you can do a nice easy tattoo on yourself and be free of deseases. Written by BloodHound3 on 2008-06-06 22:42:05

///////// i did this about a year ago and i am dead now Written by brittamer on 2008-06-10 15:58:46

///////// I was astounded when I first heard there were other people doing this. I thought it was something that only me and my friends were dumb enough to do when we were stoned little kids.    I've had a giant unfinished flaming skull on my leg for a few years now.  I'm almost 30 hours into it and I can't really push myself to do the next 7 hours (I'm guessing it will take this long). Maybe someday soon I'll sit down with a pile of records, a case of beer, and a bottle of india ink and bang it out.    Written by Workweak on 2008-06-17 10:15:59

///////// i think those freaking out should calm the fuck down. we get it, you dont want hep C, go be pussies somewhere else.     anywho, im 14 and wanted to ask the artists if there were any other types of inks that would work for this. so yea, i'd like to know, thanks  Written by alienscomeinpeace on 2008-07-08 18:40:11

///////// You might want to tell the fucking moron with the dagger that unless he adds some blood drops to signify that he is available for assisting in murder,(and bitch better follow through) a plain dagger means that he is doing time/has done as a sexual predator.     Nice work, art fags, enjoy the sodomy! Shoulda gone for tuff town or sky whale, eh dick head? There is nothing I enjoy more than watching a sheltered cunt receive a rude wakening when they leave the scholastic system and run headlong into the real world.     Surprise assholes, you can't change the world by saying it's bad, or wearing hemp, or avoiding meat. Your life is even more meaningless than those who came before you, because you fucking dolts, don't even realise your own idiocy. By all means, go "create" and when you come around to realising that life requires logic, I'm sure there'll be a welfare program for warts on the ass of society like you. Have a good one! Written by Lumbergh on 2008-07-14 00:40:38

///////// Fucking daggers rule! Ink it up Written by rodeojones on 2008-07-31 19:00:34

///////// haha, everybody is so uptight. i just gave myself one with the tools shown minus the beer. be smart, do what you want, if you disagree move on.    Pics of my new self made tatoo, booyah!  Written by Nathan Knife on 2008-08-05 22:57:55

///////// holy fuck!    WHO GIVES A FUCK! looks fun Written by Lux on 2008-08-10 06:09:04

///////// My best friend and I did leafs for each other on the inner left arm and they turned out incredible thanks to this site!!!    Code: [IMG SRC="http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v309/93/8/1494600082/n1494600082_30217688_1646.jpg"> Written by eydazil on 2008-08-18 13:53:03

///////// i'm a nurse.  and putting a needle, contrary to popular belief and sayings, DOES NOT STERILIZE THE NEEDLE. it can, infact, make the needle dirty with soot and other particles.   so, for future reference, do not make your needle hot before you use it. Written by tiathepirate on 2008-08-22 17:19:29

///////// so what do we do to sterilize it? I am really interested in this, but i want to do it the safe way. I suppose I just buy a new needle, or hit up a chemist??  If anyone knows, let me know.  Written by mctsv on 2008-11-13 18:27:02

///////// does anyone know where i can find india ink in argentina? okay let someoneee let me know. Written by ariana on 2008-12-04 13:04:21

///////// live fast, die young.  Written by monster on 2008-12-07 17:08:15

///////// i have a question. actually, two of them.   1. do i HAVE to use india ink or can i use regular pen ink?  2. how deep do i push the needle?     i haven't done anything yet, but i want to.   email me, (: Written by jesseatsworms on 2009-01-21 17:03:16

///////// i need a home made tattoo, why not? Written by missrraim on 2009-01-26 15:15:38

///////// Used this idea on a rainy day a while ago with 2 mates. I broke my toe and was extremely bored and seeing as we didnt have jenga(and still dont much to my dissapointment) we tattooed each other..I have a 2 triangles, one on each arm on the inside of my forearm just below the elbow crease...happy tattoo time photo! Written by whitetrashhero on 2009-04-13 04:41:33

///////// oh and this was a few months ago, none of us are dead or have developed hep c/hep b or aids! woo! Written by whitetrashhero on 2009-04-13 04:43:35

///////// ROFL! Great post!!    But why not use a blade instead of a needle? I give my own tattoos using an x-acto blade and cigarette ashes. It only takes a small slit in the skin (similar to what an angry cat might give) and then you briskly rub the cigarette ashes into the wound.  A tattoo artist was curious what I used and he said he used something similar in jail, only they mixed baby oil in with the ashes.    I use 91% rubbing alcohol for sterilizing everything. Written by Zhaylin on 2009-05-17 16:19:13

///////// Okay, First    They do almost the same thing in thailand with buddhist monk, and i would prefer to pay a buddhist monk who took more then one hours ont ur tatoo then professional who charge 10 times the real prices,     Cause if we count, Here a bottle of ink, 6 $ / Time to make something nice with the gun / 30 min / 1-2-3 hours / sometimes 1-2 day     Some wil lcharge like 300 $ for one tatoo of 2 hours.     Cost for a bamboo buddhist tatoo , One bottle of ink 6 $   Times For the monk ( It's as you wish) (yeah he do it free if you don't have the money)( you can make a donations to a temple or /god/godess depend the country where you are/ And god know they take 3X more time then with a gun due to the bamboo, Dot by dot . I would rather prefert ogive the 300 $ to the monk for he's patience. The details are also more nice.    they never are sick , they use sterilizing bottle,       Let see more work, more time. cost less, Here ? less time more ink , more newbie, sometimes the gun can be not set like it's should ( personnal experience)    In the end , the professional tatooer just want they'r fucking money.    Don't do this cause you will get a disease , That not like it's should have been done , you should think before doing it.     Who care if we do it it's cause we agree about the risk/cost/time/spiritual belief/ and lot of other faqs     reading those kind of comment make me sick it's like saying no one can do it just professional can do it.    Do you wanna remove us our liberty too ? Written by Bodhisattva on 2009-07-21 14:24:38

///////// because of this video i thought i would give it ago before unleashing it on my freinds...   just put my initials on my thigh.  keep it up. Written by Sweet on 2009-08-31 19:43:29

///////// because of this video i thought i would give it ago before unleashing it on my freinds...   just put my initials on my thigh.  keep it up. Written by Sweet on 2009-08-31 19:43:35

///////// you can only contract hep c by blood to blood contact. so if you use seperate needles then theres no danger Written by decedence on 2009-09-07 05:27:43

///////// why is everyone so concerned about hep c anyway? you're free to do it OR not, so stop whining and making such a big deal out of this!  Besides, it looks like these guys had so much fun doing those tatt's on each other that it actually makes me wish I had a crew of homemade-tattoogeek-friends! haha   everyone should just relax a little and not take it so seriously, it's just some friends hangin out and having a cool time. No one got anthrax here, so chill.  In my opinion, tattoos are not cool just because they look good, the really cool ones are those with a story behind, especially funny stories hahaha      PS. this reminds me I should get my fingers tattooed Written by vickievegan on 2009-09-21 06:18:34

///////// so i deffinately did this in my dorm room last week, and it was awesome. i now have a stegasaurus tattooed onto my foot, and sort of feel like a badass. :] Thanks fecalface! Written by bajadeashley on 2009-10-12 07:31:00

///////// i just gave myself a tattoo of a dick, on my dick.    fucking rad. Written by alexlauni on 2009-11-09 18:12:24

///////// Yes. I gave myself "jail tats" in the 80's before every punk was tattooed and pierced to the gills. They look great on my hairy shoulders, and a few of my friends too. Written by pendersquatch on 2010-02-05 12:50:17

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