dewd fucks, i went to rome for one of fishs art shows. and big nuts to johnny groshong fer letting borrow his digi.
sheit, you can pick up some sweet gear on planes.
time to get started.
view from our balcony.
fish had been hard at work before i arrived.
roman keys dewd. they look like they have little city scapes on them.
como va cani?
we stopped for lunch and since we're not gay, we didn't order the 'ravioli with man sauce'.
nor did we get the 'veal rump roman style'. have you seen that series 'rome' on the hbo? lots of dewd on dewd action. they could've called it 'regular man rape' and that would've worked too.
wouldn't you know it, they brought me the man sauce dish on accident. either that, or sigmund freuded his way out of my man hole when i was ordering. the man sauce wasn't too bad.. a little salty.
fish was really into these apes (it's pronounced op-aye, it means bee).
fish in 6 seconds.
caffe! i only had one cup of coffee in my life until a week before i went to italy. i drank the shit out of it while i was there and even came home with a coffee making thing.
a bit of a knights o' the round table meeting at xister.
no shit, a hole sale! i bought 1 of each kind, went home and fucked all three.
this here bitch is the symbol of rome and her name is la lupa. from what i learned, that translates into whore in english. no joke. it's pretty fitting seeing how she's always got more than one dewd sucking on her titties all the time. can someone please make lupa fernet dispenser that comes with shot glasses that are shaped like little tit sucking babies? and make it so the fernet comes out of the teats when you press the babies mouth up on it.
dewd working on the show.
emiliano was our main care taker/help us get shit done type o' guy. he brought me to a fancy party on the roof of a hotel.
i forgot what it was for but judging from this photo, it was the miss italian bulimia pagent and this cunt hair of a human came in first.
work in progress, yo.
it happens... when i'm in other countries.
roman for cell phone.
when i'm drunk, stoned and really tired, my voice gets higher than usual but my swiss/german is almost perfect.
beergets voice kinda sounds like a german dewd getting his balls tickled.
this is a common image seen all around rome. its supposed to honor those killed in the [sometimes forgotten] scottish/italian pizza war of 1539. dewd looks worried; and i would be too. taking pizza from an italian is like taking fried chicken away from someone who really likes fried chicken. thought i was gonna make a slur didn't ya?
damn this girl was fine. i didn't have the balls to talk to her so i just kinda stalked her then took this pik to rub one out to later (sorry about that sticky stuff on yer camera groshong). her face was even better than her ass and she wasn't even the hottest girl i saw while i was there. i couldn't bear to get a picture of that one though.. i had to run the other way as fast as i could.
i'm not gay but i'm sure you've heard that saying about rome and when yer there and all that. i put on a gladiator suit and banged a couple o' dewds after i finished eating.
little know fact, jeremy has some sweet dance moves.
sick hot dog cart.
we stopped to check out some traditional italian music at the park near our apartment. i didn't know they made any music other than opera.
we came across someones studio that was working on a painting of hans solo. he only had the head left and had only been working on it for one day.
when we first walked by his studio, he was sitting alone singing karaoke to himself. so rad.
our spot was within walking distance to the colosseum. this fucker was built in 80 ad and people used to kill each other and fight animals in here. looks pretty cool too.
not as old.
an epic 1.5 liter piss. the bathroom was fulled up so i had to use this fucker (yeah dewd, that's just one piss and i had to stop cause the bubbles started coming out the top). i tried to use this bottle again and ended up pissing off my little gnome bunk onto the floor in my room by way of the mistake.
roman internet is slower than a marathon at the special olympics. rumor has it, rome was behind the times when it came to plumbing and they were literally chucking their turds out their windows while other modern civilizations had that 'shit' figured out. the internet 'points' there smelled like camel balls and always had at least one dewd singing karaoke loud as fuck to somebody somewhere else in the world who probably had a mute button.
this is porta portese. it's a mile long flea market.
we came here cause fish got some sick frames here a grip of years ago and he found some yet again.
va fan culo means fuck off in italian and 'dis fugin guy ova' here' is giving me the hand gesture equivilent of that.
me and fish in 2 years.
we made a quick stop at the most famous fountain in rome, the trevvi. it's a lot more beautiful than i had expected.
just like here, there are vendors that line up in touristy spots to sell their suck piles to any dooshbag that will buy them. these are sound activated toys that wiggle their necks so these guys have bend over and clap near them every 20 seconds or so. nice career choice fucknecks. the tourists seem pretty impressed by them though.
yoda/ape corna dance. by the way, fish got that cut on his head from battling a lion at the colosseum. the lion managed to get in one scratch before jeremy ripped its head off and punted it into a crowd of tourists.
average roman church mural.
stopped at the pantheon, yo. closed.
fish busted out his pizza dance out front of that bitch. by the way spacce di brutto roughly translates into 'nice one' in italian which can be useful for picking up chicks . ti spacce di brutto, however, means 'i want to break every bone in yer body' so make sure yer saying the right one depending on what kind of girl yer trying to get with. also, if you translate that shit on the web you get stuff like 'it cracks of ugly' and 'it splits of ugliness' so you might want to look into that a little more first.
someone said this is the vatican newspaper which is pretty fucked. look how big that shit is. is there really that much shit going on at the vatican everyday other than when the whole world found out that priests like to touch little boys?
yet another visit to the trevvi. shit looks a lot cooler at night. how to be gay in three easy steps:
i wasn't aware that, not only can you bring animals into a restaurant in rome, but you can literally feed your half hedgehog/bunny looking comfort bump right at the table.
fuck yeah! i'm mad sweet.
back at it.
part 2 soon. real soon.
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