Balls are the new tits? Noah checks out some shows in Seattle. Seattle is finally starting to show signs of summer again. There's been gallery openings galore, beer is replacing pot as the drug of choice, people are starting to look tan in white, there is nowhere to park in the city ever, and I havn't eaten anything besides vegetarian BBQ in weeks. When I say "gallery openings galore," what I really mean is that a few unique places in Seattle are starting to find new interior motifs for all of their patrons. Take for example the shop Schmancy, in downtown Seattle. Schmancy is one of three different stores that line the 2nd Ave strip, all together called Fancy-Schmancy-Pants. Fancy focusing on jewelry, Schmancy on toys and small gifts, and Pants on underwears and t-shirts. Each store carries it's theme pretty well, and they always have different artists hanging their stuff up on the walls. Check out this stuff Ferris Plock just had installed.

On Ferris' website he says that he's "...an artist living in the Western Addition neighborhood of San Francisco, who grew up in the Bay Area, amusing himself with comic books, graffiti, hip-hop, and Chevy Impalas..." Look's to me like the description matches his artwork dead on.

While I was visiting the shop, a funny tourist family walked in to see what the store was all about. They had a pretty good time looking through all the little toys, laughing at stuffed animals in the shape of T-Bone Steak's, complete with meat trays. It was funny listening to them ooo and awe over the merch, and I even managed to snap a picture of the parents. Look at the guy's face!

After Schamncy I headed down the street to Pants, where Charles Whiteside had a small show called "The Battle of Herandi." Charles is a receptionist at Halo Salon, who from what I can tell, makes a few show posters and some nice artwork now and then. I think it's pretty good, actually. That's him in the flannel...

"The One of Jen"

"The One of Me"

"This is Where She Hunt's Me"

"This is Where I Die"

I saw a show Charles was in last year at the Halo Salon called "Castle me in," where he had some pretty neat portraits, and I know of at least one show coming up called "40/Love" with him and Le Merde, over at Bazr. It's opening reception is June 1st, so maybe try to make it out to that. He also had these up.

Hunter/gatherer with buffalo head, gutting a bird, in the water, with floating steel reserve cans. Gotta love it.

Pants has some pretty neat stuff, although it's all mostly for the ladies. They did have one pair of boxers I wanted to pick up for my grampa, but they ended up not being his size, and like $40 anyway... They were rad though. Pink, with pharmaceutical bottles stitched on. Perfect for old people. The night before I went to Schmacy and Pants I went to another show I had heard about, which without a doubt caught my attention. Check it out. This is what I spent my night looking at, over at the Sweatshop Inc. gallery space in Capitol Hill.

The Stranger's managing art director, Kelly O, is responsible for a small section of Seattle's free, weekly news paper, called "Drunk of the Week." Each week she picks a new winner, whose picture and paragraph long story are posted for all to read. On top of that, they win a Drunk of the Week t-shirt and a $10 bill. It's usually pretty amusing, and I can only hope to some day be featured within the DOTW segment. As you can all prolly guess though, Kelly has a lot of great drunk photos to chose from each week. She can only pick one per week for the paper, but I guess she just didn't want the rest to go to waste. So, over the last year she's been compiling all the photos she's taken of different mens ballz. That's right. BALLS. 100 of them.

Last year I went to a show called Puppetry of the Penis, where two Australian dood's contort there dong and balls to look like this,

and this! I remember this one being called "the hamburger" for its meat and buns look... See it? Try it.

Bill came along to discuss the fine art of ham nugget photography.

There were tons of scenesters, young and old, but all mostly ghey. Lots of Pabst, too.

That's all I've got for now, but if any of you in Seattle are looking for somthing to do this next week, go check out the grand opening of the new BLVD Gallery, over in Belltown. The first show is called "Groundswell" and is on from 6-10pm, starting Friday, May 12th. This place is gonna be huge.

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