The Nighthowlcoholic gets his blur on with other SPBs in Portland.
before i finish up this years spb convention, i'd like to say congradulations to matt d. and lisa for sliding themselves deep into wedlock. nice one dewdz. here's my favorite pik from the wedding.

we stopped at an ostrich farm on the way out of town. one of them fuckers was trying to get my sparks so i had to sock him.

kinda looks like my doppelganger. thanks to dragonette for the sweet pik.

aight then dewshiz, here's the rest of our vomitous times at this years silly pink bunny convention:

we started our afternoon at a strip club called mary's. i'm not a big fan of strip clubs but you can't really avoid them in portland. start searching for some average diner food when yer on a budget and you'll end up with some teat in yer face.

camera's aren't allowed at the strip clubs.

don't sit near creepy dewdz like this guy.

each year we all pile into an unfortunate restaurant to consume food and beverages and hand out some awards (including one for hardest repper). here's some dinner piks:

the gooch.

repper of the year trophy.

this dewdz name is grier. he earned his spot as repper of the year and was awarded the trophy during the 2005 convention. unfortunetely, someone hijacked it out of his luggage later that night. ransom notes were sent out over the next few months but nobody had the balls to claim responsibility for their action. the trophy ended up being 'anonymously' shipped to portland. musta been some cowardly pussies involved.

after doing my own research into potential suspects, i blame this guy. his name is hutch.

i give the assist to my brother from another mother, mr. kyle rucker.

the don dinner action worked out nicely... other than the margarita's tasting like soap. eventually we got kicked out and headed over to a place called dino's to see buzzard and hightower make the rock music go.

don denver and fredlock making friends with the sidewalk.

i saw this buttock lurking at the bar and thought it looked a bit out of place. i realized soon after that there would be strippers accompanying the bands.

yup... i was right. instead of snacking on a bowl of goldfish you could inspect the outer rims of this girls badger and monkey button.

my official inspection crew.

a bit o' brokeblog mountain in a 'not gay' kinda way.

i recorded some video of buzzard and hightower but the audio was so bad that i couldn't post it... sorry dewdz.

caleb takes care of buzzards drum section.

i missed hightowers set cause i had to step outside for some air.

the first thing i saw outside was mickeys beautiful face.

the next thing i saw was rob diggin into his cooler full o' beer. thanks rob.

i made my way back into the bar and learned that D5 had been declared repper of the year for 2006.

nice one dewd.

the rest of the night is kind of a blur, but here's what i think happened...

we had a brief layover in franklins room where i brought a grip of beer.

then i left the bulk of my beverages there cause we decided to go back to the mechanical bull bar.

where jeramiah danced with this woman.

and mickey got jiggy with this guy.

then he tried to ride the bull with some kind of dislocated elbow or some other painful deformation.

a bunch of stuff happened later that night...

as we were skinning in the room across from mine, i over heard fish say something like 'i would give someone 200 bucks for a beer right now'. it was enough to remind me that i left a pile o' beer in franklins room. i was off and stumbling.

marcos was there guarding my beer.

since it was after oregons beer buying time; everyone tossed a fresh load in their trousers when i walked in with a grip of alchohol. chaos ensued.

i didn't take many photos but this one of me, shawn and andreas reminded me that i really need to get my tooth fixed. i had a cap put on a while ago and it cracked off when i was trying to mark my beer cup by biting it at a bowling alley. i found the cap and kept it. it smells like a donkeys ass.

our last day was pretty rough. the functional people went skating but most of us were'nt able to do much other than open our eyes and then reward ourselves by closing them again.

double trouble.

unfortunetely, i left my camera at the hotel to charge the battery and didn't have the energy to make the 2 block round trip journey to get it. the rest of the night was epic. dons were skinning up right on the poon bar and the dancers were really going for it. one of the broads was doing the 'on all fours gyrating her ass in yer face maneuver' and started kicking the shit out of the railing in front of me with her 6" heels. she launched my smokes off the bar and nearly smashed my beer bottle. i respect that kind of energy (as long as she didn't fuck up my beer).

the best story of the night was that one of the dons tossed up thier dinner while skinning at the poon viewing bar. not too long later he fed one of the clubs garbage cans like it was a baby bird... and for his grand finally, he coughed up what was left in his stomach onto the lap of one of the strippers during a lap dance.

nice one, two, three.

i'm proud of the fact that i puked all the way from the front door of the club to my hotel sink that night (a full block) since it's a personal record but, launching 3 times in a club, including on one of it's employees, without getting the boot takes the cak.

next blog is me and fish's journey to zurich and around germany. hold yer breath.

laterforyou. {moscomment}